"Perverts only do what everyone else is thinking."
As humans, we all think of things we never consider doing. Perverts, however, seem to lack certain filters. Although The Chemical Buddha found it interesting that even perverts would be repulsed by other perverts. He knew that because he tried to start a pervert support group to give people a place to be accepted. But that digressed to a bunch of tourists who just liked to hear how fucked up other people were. And, let's face it, we're all fucked up in some way. It's just that some types of fucked up are more accepted than others. Just like some drugs are more accepted than others. Personally, The Chemical Buddha tried to do things that were consensual and didn't hurt in a bad way. Pain is a part of life and there's the pain of missing someone and then there's the pain of being ball gagged against your will.
What parts of your life are you just a tourist?
What fucked up part of yourself do you hide from others?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Open Up
"I have the can opener to open your mind."
Like you, The Chemical Buddha was a somewhat normal little boy before he set out on his path. Legend has it that he found his calling at the age of 5 when a friend of his parents gave him his first hit of acid. Actually, he saw everyone else doing it and asked for some. The friend was too far gone to refuse and placed the tab on his little tongue. As he did so, he said, "This'll open your mind.” As TCB took his trip, one of the things he thought about was can openers. It felt like someone actually opened his skull and poured in new thoughts, sensations, and ways of seeing the world. Before adopting the name The Chemical Buddha, he often said the above phrase and referred to himself as The Can Opener. But that seemed more like a name for a professional wrestler than a leader of an enlightenment movement.
What ideas are you closed to and don't even consider?
What one thing could you open yourself to just to see what happens?
Like you, The Chemical Buddha was a somewhat normal little boy before he set out on his path. Legend has it that he found his calling at the age of 5 when a friend of his parents gave him his first hit of acid. Actually, he saw everyone else doing it and asked for some. The friend was too far gone to refuse and placed the tab on his little tongue. As he did so, he said, "This'll open your mind.” As TCB took his trip, one of the things he thought about was can openers. It felt like someone actually opened his skull and poured in new thoughts, sensations, and ways of seeing the world. Before adopting the name The Chemical Buddha, he often said the above phrase and referred to himself as The Can Opener. But that seemed more like a name for a professional wrestler than a leader of an enlightenment movement.
What ideas are you closed to and don't even consider?
What one thing could you open yourself to just to see what happens?
Friday, December 5, 2008
Well Red
"There’s nothing scarier than a redneck with money."
The Chemical Buddha's travels would often take him through some 'interesting' parts of the country. (Interesting was a word his mother would use when she didn’t like something.) As he’d travel through the more redneck parts, and pretty much every city gets pretty redneck 30 miles outside the city limits, he came up with the above view. He reasoned it was this combination of cash and limited world view that was responsible for giving us chromed out monster trucks, Armageddon shelters, and those classy Big Johnson T-shirts of the late 90s. What he didn’t understand was how rednecks with money seemed to want respect and admiration but they didn't respect anyone. TCB believed it was hard to get something you were unwilling to give. He also learned if you ever said something like that to a redneck, they'd get pissed off and you'd have to find another meth dealer.
Is the world you're creating the same as the world you want?
What might you have to give, in order to get it back?
The Chemical Buddha's travels would often take him through some 'interesting' parts of the country. (Interesting was a word his mother would use when she didn’t like something.) As he’d travel through the more redneck parts, and pretty much every city gets pretty redneck 30 miles outside the city limits, he came up with the above view. He reasoned it was this combination of cash and limited world view that was responsible for giving us chromed out monster trucks, Armageddon shelters, and those classy Big Johnson T-shirts of the late 90s. What he didn’t understand was how rednecks with money seemed to want respect and admiration but they didn't respect anyone. TCB believed it was hard to get something you were unwilling to give. He also learned if you ever said something like that to a redneck, they'd get pissed off and you'd have to find another meth dealer.
Is the world you're creating the same as the world you want?
What might you have to give, in order to get it back?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
If It Feels Good, Do It
"Sinning without guilt isn't a sin."
The Chemical Buddha never understood why people felt guilty because 1) it never seemed to change their behavior and 2) it just seemed to make people feel worse about their lives. That's why he always asked, "Did you have fun? Then why feel guilty?" So the entire concept of sin was foreign to The Chemical Buddha. Sin actually seemed to be based on what other people thought about how he lived his life, rather than how he thought about it. And if there was one thing that TCB didn't like, it was people telling him how to live. But, as the leader of his own religious movement, it was perfectly OK for him to pass judgment on other people. In fact, he pushed his agenda of not wanting people to feel guilty that some of his followers felt guilty for not feeling guilty.
What is a guilty pleasure no one knows about?
Do you feel guilty about it or do you worry what other people would think if they found out?
The Chemical Buddha never understood why people felt guilty because 1) it never seemed to change their behavior and 2) it just seemed to make people feel worse about their lives. That's why he always asked, "Did you have fun? Then why feel guilty?" So the entire concept of sin was foreign to The Chemical Buddha. Sin actually seemed to be based on what other people thought about how he lived his life, rather than how he thought about it. And if there was one thing that TCB didn't like, it was people telling him how to live. But, as the leader of his own religious movement, it was perfectly OK for him to pass judgment on other people. In fact, he pushed his agenda of not wanting people to feel guilty that some of his followers felt guilty for not feeling guilty.
What is a guilty pleasure no one knows about?
Do you feel guilty about it or do you worry what other people would think if they found out?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Truth
"When in doubt, lie to yourself."
There were several times The Chemical Buddha heard things he disagreed with like: "You're a drunk. You're fat. You're an idiot." Any normal person might have examined their life or made some changes. But The Chemical Buddha was not a normal person. He knew he was destined to transcend those who would keep him down. Keep him from achieving his full potential. All those naysayers were just jealous that he had a goal in life. That he was an enlightened being meant to show them the way. They were just resisting the truth. He knew better. He was chosen to lead the dawning of a new age. And he was smart, plump but cute and only drank when he was awake. So what did they know anyway? Just because they were accredited professionals with training on how to deal with people who had delusions of grandeur. Just because they fit society's definition of fuckable they didn't know everything. No, The Chemical Buddha was stronger than all of them. He would show them all he was special.
What lies are you telling to yourself?
Do you give up when people tell you it can't be done or do you press on?
There were several times The Chemical Buddha heard things he disagreed with like: "You're a drunk. You're fat. You're an idiot." Any normal person might have examined their life or made some changes. But The Chemical Buddha was not a normal person. He knew he was destined to transcend those who would keep him down. Keep him from achieving his full potential. All those naysayers were just jealous that he had a goal in life. That he was an enlightened being meant to show them the way. They were just resisting the truth. He knew better. He was chosen to lead the dawning of a new age. And he was smart, plump but cute and only drank when he was awake. So what did they know anyway? Just because they were accredited professionals with training on how to deal with people who had delusions of grandeur. Just because they fit society's definition of fuckable they didn't know everything. No, The Chemical Buddha was stronger than all of them. He would show them all he was special.
What lies are you telling to yourself?
Do you give up when people tell you it can't be done or do you press on?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Mine!
"Addicted to everything™."
The Chemical Buddha couldn't find one thing he was addicted to. He found several things. Check that, he found everything. And if everything is the one and the one is everything, he would say he was addicted to the one. Of course, there were some things he absolutely had to have more than others. But deep down he wanted it all. In fact, he hoarded everything he could. Of course, he hoarded everything he truly loved in his body. (Or more precisely, his bloodstream.) There is some dispute over whether The Chemical Buddha admitted to being addicted to everything or if this was the diagnosis of his parole officer. Our money is on his PO coming up with this, but that didn't keep TCB from taking credit for it. Or trademarking it.
What one thing do you choose over everything else?
What are you denying because you don’t want to admit it may be true?
The Chemical Buddha couldn't find one thing he was addicted to. He found several things. Check that, he found everything. And if everything is the one and the one is everything, he would say he was addicted to the one. Of course, there were some things he absolutely had to have more than others. But deep down he wanted it all. In fact, he hoarded everything he could. Of course, he hoarded everything he truly loved in his body. (Or more precisely, his bloodstream.) There is some dispute over whether The Chemical Buddha admitted to being addicted to everything or if this was the diagnosis of his parole officer. Our money is on his PO coming up with this, but that didn't keep TCB from taking credit for it. Or trademarking it.
What one thing do you choose over everything else?
What are you denying because you don’t want to admit it may be true?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Preparation H
"The only movement I'm interested in joining is a bowel movement."
One of the bad side effects of certain enlightenment helpers was they tended to slow down the body's systems. Particularly the digestive system. The Chemical Buddha came up with this insight while he was straining on the throne. In fact, he pushed so hard (to no avail) he gave himself hemorrhoids. Every election year since, he toyed with the idea of printing up yard signs, buttons, and bumper stickers that said, "Join the Bowel Movement." But that would have taken money away from his true pursuits. Luckily, you dear reader, can buy one (and a lot of other cool crap) at chemicalbuddha.com. We promise all proceeds will go to supporting The Chemical Buddha's followers in the squalor to which they have become accustomed. (It beats giving them money on a street corner.) Besides, every true religion solicits money from the wannabes.
What are you passionate about?
What happens when you push too hard for something you want?
One of the bad side effects of certain enlightenment helpers was they tended to slow down the body's systems. Particularly the digestive system. The Chemical Buddha came up with this insight while he was straining on the throne. In fact, he pushed so hard (to no avail) he gave himself hemorrhoids. Every election year since, he toyed with the idea of printing up yard signs, buttons, and bumper stickers that said, "Join the Bowel Movement." But that would have taken money away from his true pursuits. Luckily, you dear reader, can buy one (and a lot of other cool crap) at chemicalbuddha.com. We promise all proceeds will go to supporting The Chemical Buddha's followers in the squalor to which they have become accustomed. (It beats giving them money on a street corner.) Besides, every true religion solicits money from the wannabes.
What are you passionate about?
What happens when you push too hard for something you want?
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