Fucking Ugly

"No one looks good while they're cumming."
After watching countless hours of porn, The Chemical Buddha noticed that people made the strangest faces when they were supposedly enjoying themselves the most. First, he thought this pointed to how closely related pleasure and pain were. Second, he assumed that he was the exception to the 'ugly orgasm face'. In fact, he was so sure, he videotaped himself masturbating to see what his face looked like. (Just so you know, few people wanted to have sex with TCB, let alone be filmed doing it.) Since we can find no recorded evidence of his 'alone time' we assume he too was a victim of 'ugly orgasm face'.
What things do you say you'd be 'happy' to do when you're really not?
How often do you do stuff you don't want to do?
How often do you actually do the stuff that you enjoy doing?

Bone in

"More erections are wasted in a day than are used in a year. Stop the senseless waste of erections!"
The Chemical Buddha discovered that he only used a small percentage of the erections he had in any given day. In fact, he put far fewer erections to work then he would have liked. This was the turning point and the motivation for his new view of his 'littleB uddha'. As a result, he vowed to put more of his erections towards the purpose of pleasure creation. Of course, this meant he got several tickets for masturbating in public and it wasn't unusual to look up from dinner to see him pleasuring himself at the table. It was around this time he became fond of saying, "Happiness is a stiff dick." Up until the time of this death, TCB figured he was getting pleasure from 10% of his daily boners.
What things in your life are you not taking full advantage of?
How might utilizing what is already at hand, help you enjoy your life more?

We had Sex?

"The best sex I ever had was the last sex I ever had."
The Chemical Buddha noticed that there were certain things in life where the last time he did it was also the best time. Of course, TCB came upon this thinking when he realized that he couldn't remember any of the previous times he had sex. He could remember the people (barely) but not the actual feelings. So it wasn't a lie when he told his partner(s) that was the best sex ever. He found this also applied to other areas of his life. For example, the last time he saw someone was how she or he always looked in his mind. He couldn't remember how they looked before. He might recognize them if he saw an old picture but he couldn't actively call up how they used to look. Just how they looked now. Of course, there was one exception when he could compile all the best possible memories (and add a few enhancements) and that was when he fantasized while masturbating.
How much time do you spend living in the past?
What parts of the past do you unnecessarily hold onto?
What keeps you from enjoying what's happening now?

Choices

"Meditate or masturbate?"
Today's insight was part of the eternal question. Or, at least it was part of The Chemical Buddha's eternal question. Once he discovered the peace and serenity masturbation gave him, he no longer asked the question. Plus, he could do it all by himself. No more rejection or the expense of getting someone else drunk/high. Really, TCB wasn't sure why anyone would choose meditation over masturbation. Of course he wasn't sure why people choose a lot of the things they did. He assumed it was because it made them happy or gave them some sense of comfort.
Do you 'like' having people around or do you 'need' to have people around you?
What 'bad' choices do you make over and over?
What do you get out of these 'bad' choices?

Brew Mastur-Bater

"The only bad thing about going to work drunk is that when you sober up, you're at work."
On the few occasions The Chemical Buddha was gainfully employed, he would often have a little sip or toke to make the job easier to put up with. And it was fun for a little while. Except when he'd sober up. Then it was excruciating. Not only was he now sober but he was at work too. Quite possibly the worse combination imaginable. The reason TCB was only occasionally employed is because his work performance would go right in the toilet when he sobered up. Of course, he did love the job he had at the brewery. However, he got fired from that job because he was caught taking 5 cases of beer home. They didn't believe his story of taking some work home with him. But that aside, it was the only time he combined what he loved with making money. That and the time he launched his website: Watch TCB Masturbate.
Do you do things you don't like to do? If so, how do you motivate yourself?
What do you love to do? Could you earn a living doing what you love?