Offensive

"Sex is best left to the professionals."
A few earlier insights delve into how The Chemical Buddha felt about girls who were in the flesh trade. So it should come as no surprise that he thought they were well worth the money. Few complaints. No commitments. And they would do whatever he wanted them to do. Although you know you've accomplished something when you can offend a hooker. And believe us, there were a few times The Chemical Buddha managed to pull off that feat. Of course, it might have just been he couldn't come up with enough money to make it worth their time. Even hookers are unwilling to do some jobs if the money isn't right. The same can't be said for everyone.
Are you easily offended or hard to offend?
What typically sets you off?
How often do you offend people? What do you risk by offending people more (or less)?

Fuck You Money

"Nothing is as sexy as money."
While this might seem to be in direct contrast to the insight from July 4th, The Chemical Buddha was able to hold both in his mind. He would say he preferred the both/and to the either/or. In TCB's mind having money didn't mean you were rich. It just meant you could afford to buy a six-pack or a dime bag or some day old Twinkies. When forced to evaluate people, The Chemical Buddha always found himself more attracted to someone who also had other things he wanted. For example, TCB would choose an unattractive woman with 5 lukewarm beers over a more attractive women without any beer. Besides, if he pounded the 5 beers fast enough, the beer goggles would make the unattractive woman look way more beautiful.
What qualities are you attracted to the most?
How often do you give people outside of your 'attraction set' a chance?
Why do you think people are attracted to you?

Who Do You Love?

“All women marry for love. Just sometimes it’s for the love of money.”
The Chemical Buddha was all for love. (Not necessarily for marriage, but he loved love.) This insight arose when he was trying to figure out what younger women see in older men. It surely wasn’t a physical attraction thing because who would want some saggy old dude sweating over, under or behind them? In his mind, he imagined when they said , ‘I love you.’ they left off the ‘r money.’ Of course, if TCB could have found a blind, deaf, rich woman with no sense of smell he totally would have married her. No matter what she looked like. But he didn’t know how to contact those women since they couldn’t read or hear personal ads.
Have you ever been friends with someone just to use something they have? If so, how do you feel about it?
Have you ever had someone use you to get something they wanted? If so, how do you feel about it?

Death is Always Looking for People

“Death is an equal opportunity employer.”
Although The Chemical Buddha had several money earning ideas in the works, he started to get a little worried about how he was going to buy his drugs, hookers and Twinkies. As he contemplated how easy the rich have it, he realized that rich or poor, we all die. This line of thinking submarined any goals he had of becoming rich, because, what did it matter? He would die someday anyway. As a result he focused more on living and less on earning one. (Which didn’t make sense to him anyway. Because how does one earn a living if you’re already alive?) It was stupid shit like this that The Chemical Buddha pondered in between bong hits and shots.
Are you alive or just earning a living?
What is the end goal of what you are trying to earn?

Spiritually Bankrupt

“Jesus saves. Chemical Buddha owes.”
The Chemical Buddha would always see the words ‘Jesus Saves’ and he couldn’t ever figure out what that meant. Did it mean Jesus saves money? Coupons? Baby seals? What exactly does he save? If it was money, TCB couldn’t see the benefit of doing that. Every dollar that was in his pocket was a dollar that could be out making sure he was having a good time. The Chemical Buddha would also borrow against the future to have a good time now. His thinking is summed up in the simple idea: ‘I always eat my dessert first, because I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to make it the end of the meal.’ In fact, TCB was so in the now, he didn’t think about the future at all. And once he got there, he was always surprised at how fucked up everything was.
What do you think about the most? The past? The present? Or the future?
How does that influence your level of satisfaction with your life?

Money for Nothing

“Working is overrated. Unfortunately, money isn’t.”
Today’s insight/realization came when The Chemical Buddha was at a crossroads in his life. He had just been fired from his part-time job and realized he liked money. He also learned he didn’t like working for it. He would try a few other things before recognizing his path was in the spiritual realm. He decided to turn the fact that we are all spiritual beings into a profit center. Somewhere along the way, he’d always heard it was important to do what you loved. (He probably heard it on Oprah.) That’s why he decided to incorporate his three loves of sex, drugs and food into his ministries.
What are you willing to do for money? Are you happy or unhappy with that?
What do you love? How might you turn that into a source of income?

Spiritual Materialism

“Give your life to God. Give your money to The Chemical Buddha.”
The Chemical Buddha had no problem with people giving up their material possessions in order to follow their spiritual calling. In fact, he encouraged it. As long as they were giving their stuff to him. As a spiritual leader, he felt it was necessary he have all the stuff his position entitled him to. Mainly sex, drugs and gourmet food. And believe us, TCB had to spend a lot on all of those to get his fill (or to get someone to fuck him). If any of his friends even hinted they were going to join a monastery or walk the earth to find their purpose, The Chemical Buddha would offer to ‘watch’ their stuff while they were gone. If, by chance, they returned for their stuff (be it months or hours later) he would usually say something about them being happier without all that 'shit' weighing them down.
Do you think it’s possible to live a spiritual and material life?
Do things, people or experiences make you happy?

The Holy Trinity

“Get paid. Get laid. Got it made.”
This saying comes from the early years of The Chemical Buddha. So early in fact, he actually had a job when this was said. This insight is believed to have been uttered shortly after TCB received his first paycheck and was later referred to as the Holy Trinity. (But that was before The Chemical Buddha realized he could get paid and laid by starting his own religious movement.) While IRS records show The Chemical Buddha did indeed get paid. And his “Book of Conquests Volume One” shows that he did get laid. We have no word on whether or not he ever got it made. Although rumor has it, he felt as if he did until the oxytocin of sex wore off and he ran out of money.
What do you need to be happy?
How much of that is truly attainable and how long does your feeling of happiness last?