Same as it Ever Was

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
This was a difficult insight for The Chemical Buddha to come to. Difficult in the fact that he had to loose someone very close to him before realizing it. Had he learned it earlier, he might have been able to prevent his friend's senseless death. The story goes that this awareness came to TCB after he lost one of his good friends. The friend decided to end it all because his girlfriend of 8 days decided to break up with him. (We're not sure if they were actually going out or if he just though they were and he became distraught when she didn’t return his 100th phone call of the day.) So instead of seeing the pain and the problem as a temporary one, his friend choose to see it as permanent situation that would never change. And it would therefore be impossible to go on without Rebecca (or whatever her name was, because we're not even sure the friend knew it).
What molehills do you make into mountains?
What are you obsessed with now, that you won't even think about 6 months from now? A year from now? Five years from now?

Macho Man

"Although today's a good day to die, I'd rather not."
The Chemical Buddha lived his life like he could die at any moment. So he wanted to get the most out of every moment. One of his mantras was, "Today is a good day to die." We’re not sure but he probably heard it in some war movie or something. Generally, when he said it, it was when he was trying to be macho. Like just before he did a shot of tequila, or plunged a syringe of heroin into his arm. There were a few times he had to be rushed to the hospital with an overdose (or alcohol poisoning). When he came to, he would yell, "Why the fuck did you let me do that!?! Are you trying to kill me or something? Shit! Motherfucker!" We're sure the last two words were just because TCB liked to cuss so he'd seem all macho and shit.
What do you do to make it seem like you don't care?
When you're afraid, what do you do to act like you're not?
What do you like about your life?
What don't you like?

Let go

"Dying is easy. Living is hard."
Everywhere The Chemical Buddha went people seemed to be worried about or avoiding the thought of dying. To TCB, dying would take care of itself. It would happen when it happened, so why worry about it? He thought living was the thing most people seemed to struggle with. They seemed to be afraid of living. Holding back. Not engaging fully. Putting themselves into a box. Hopefully, by now, you've learned that The Chemical Buddha threw himself into life. He wanted to partake in any and everything. Whether that meant injecting, ingesting or intercoursing. Oftentimes, he ended up infected and infirmed, but he would say that was just a part of the rich tapestry of life.
What is your approach to life?
What are your thoughts on death?
Do you spend more time thinking about living or dying?
What do you need to do to live more?
What do you need to do to prepare for death?

Too Poor to Pay Attention

"Am I an Awakened One? Not before Noon."
The Chemical Buddha was often asked if he was truly an awakened one. And truth be told he wasn't always awake. He zoned out, spaced off, or just plain fell asleep all of the time. In fact, when TCB passed away we weren't sure if he had died of just suddenly fallen asleep. Even after death made his bowels and bladder let loose, we weren't sure. (He didn't need to be on the toilet or even close to the bathroom to think it was OK to relieve himself.) Even when he turned blue and got really cold. Only after we opened a beer right next to his ear were we sure he was dead. In fact, if you ever wanted to wake The Chemical Buddha, all that was required was for someone to open a candy bar, or the screw cap on a jug, or spark a lighter and you had his undivided attention.
What parts of your life do you sleep through?
What does it take to get your attention?
What does it take to hold your attention?

Dying to Live

“Live until you die.”
The Chemical Buddha noticed some people seemed to be worn out and mentally close minded while they were still fairly young, TCB was all about enjoying life. In fact, he was pretty sure life was the only thing worth living. Today’s insight was inspired by a friend’s dog: Buster, who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But when The Chemical Buddha saw the dog, Buster still acted as he had always acted. The news of his impending death didn’t stop him from sniffing people’s butts, licking his balls or playing catch. And, according to his friend, that’s what Buster did right up until the time he passed away. The Chemical Buddha thought more people should be like dogs. Besides, The Chemical Buddha thought it would be nice if he could lick his own balls.
Are you open to new ideas or do you find yourself clinging to what you’ve always done?
How does ‘bad’ news affect you? Do you dwell on it or get on with your life?

Got a Complex?

“Life is pretty simple. You live. You die.”
The Chemical Buddha liked to keep things simple. Because making things complex was the easiest thing in the world to do. All you had to do was add on more stuff and wah-lah, complexity. Anyone could do that. But stripping things down to its simplest qualities? That’s the realm of the Buddhas (or people who had sacrificed huge parts of their brains to caustic, hallucination inducing chemicals). That, coupled with the fact that TCB could only understand things if they were explained to him like he was a 3-year-old (which mentally he was) helped him keep everything simple. After TCB heard a philosopher wax poetic for a couple of hours on why we’re here and what happens after death, he cut through the complex bullshit and boiled it down to the above insight. Then, because his head hurt from all of the thinking, he took a nap.
What do you make more complex than it needs to be? What do you get out of making things complex?
How can you make your life more simple? And how might that help you?

Walking, Talking, Breathing Dead

“Most people are just performing daily maintenance on a corpse.”
Compared to The Chemical Buddha, most people seem dead already (or at least that’s what TCB thought) and their lives were just merely filled with doing the upkeep on their still breathing bodies. Rather than actually living, to him they seemed like they were either trying to repeat what their parents had done. Or trying not to repeat what they’re parents had done. Not many people seemed concerned with living their own lives. They were worried about what other thought. But The Chemical Buddha didn’t think they were without hope. Because he figured as long as they’re alive, there was still a chance they’ll live again. Or at least a chance they’d give him money, drugs, food or sex.
Who do you live for?
If you live for yourself, who do you model yourself after? If you model yourself after someone, aren’t you just living for them?
What do you live to do?

Maybe in the Next Life

“What is the afterlife? Isn't death after life?”
Two days running of The Chemical Buddha’s thoughts on death. TCB often took notice of the cycle of death and renewal in the fall and spring. Both were necessary to maintain balance. Just as sobriety was a necessary evil to being high/drunk. Without one, the other could not exist or wouldn’t be noticed. That’s why he wasn’t sure why people asked him about the afterlife. To him, as far as he knew, death seemed to be what was next in order to maintain balance. And there would be some new rebirth out of that space. Sometimes he believed what all Buddhists believe. Mainly, that we’ll be reborn depending upon our Karma (or past deeds). And sometimes he didn’t. It usually depended if he wanted to be reborn to have another crack at a hot chick who had just shot him down or not.
How do you maintain balance in your life?
Do you recognize when you’re out of balance and are you able to quickly recover?

Live Now. Die Later.

“The big cosmic joke is there is no meaning to life.”
The Chemical Buddha wasn’t one of those people who read a lot into why he was here or what life was all about. None of that really concerned him at all. He didn’t worry about the meaning of life. He worried about things like: What would it take to get into your pants? What time did the liquor stores close? Could he get weed on credit again? His only concern was the now. Besides, he figured he’d worry about death when he was dying and/or dead. TCB thought people who worried about that ‘meaning of life’ shit were going to be sadly disappointed when they got to the end and realized they had spent their life trying to figure out what it was all about, instead of living it.
How much time do you spend worrying about things you could just do?
Does the overthinking/worrying pay off or do things just go like they were going to go whether you worried about them or not?

Come In

“We often come for different reasons than we leave.”
The Chemical Buddha believed life was a lot like sex. And more than sex eventually leading to the creation of life. He thought the reasons we were born were usually different from the reasons we die. For instance, TCB was born to spread the enlightenment through pharmaceuticals gospel and enlighten people to a bigger world. (At the time of this insight, he had no idea how he would leave this earthly plain, and it turns out he left it doing the things he was born to do. But we’re sure this is just the exception that proves the rule.) Just like the reasons we have sex with a person (to come) is different then the reason we leave (she’s sobering up, her husband came home, etc.)
Why are you here?
What are the things in life that cause you to leave and/or give up?

Why did The Chemical Buddha Cross the Road?

“To find the middle of the road, you need to thoroughly explore the ditches.”
The Chemical Buddha saw himself as a centrist, even though his life exhibited some extreme behaviors. So we figured he considered himself a ‘middle of the road guy’ because he was constantly bouncing from one ditch to the other. So technically, he saw the middle of the road more than anything, but it was more of a flyover. Not a place he actually spent any time. The Chemical Buddha believed he needed to push himself until he found the edge of his comfort zone. Then, just to be sure, he would take a step beyond that. This would allow him to find his operating range. The only bad part was he never found that edge of discomfort and didn’t know when to pull back. In the end, death turned out to be TCB’s edge.
Where is your edge in your life? How might you benefit from stepping beyond it?
What do you think will happen if you get out of your comfort zone?

Death is Always Looking for People

“Death is an equal opportunity employer.”
Although The Chemical Buddha had several money earning ideas in the works, he started to get a little worried about how he was going to buy his drugs, hookers and Twinkies. As he contemplated how easy the rich have it, he realized that rich or poor, we all die. This line of thinking submarined any goals he had of becoming rich, because, what did it matter? He would die someday anyway. As a result he focused more on living and less on earning one. (Which didn’t make sense to him anyway. Because how does one earn a living if you’re already alive?) It was stupid shit like this that The Chemical Buddha pondered in between bong hits and shots.
Are you alive or just earning a living?
What is the end goal of what you are trying to earn?

Mr. Happy Time

“There’s one last thing we all get to do for the first time: die.”
The Chemical Buddha slipped into a depression once he realized he had just worked two weeks to pay for a piece of ass. (See January 15th reading.) Now the money (and the piece of ass) was gone and he had to go back to work. The timing of this quote is significant because it represents some of The Chemical Buddha’s first awakenings. This was when he realized that no matter how different we are, we are all born and we all die. The time in between can look very different for all of us but we are all unified in our desire for a really good orgasm. Granted, it took awhile (and copious amounts of drugs) for TCB to understand what he was learning. But his path was starting to reveal itself.
What do you think you have in common with other people?
What do you think separates yourself from other people?
Has your path started to reveal itself? If so, what is it?

Bang of the Gang

“Flexibility is the secret to a long life filled with a variety of sexual positions.”
Although The Chemical Buddha was unable to touch his own toes (in fact, he couldn’t even see them) he believed inflexibility/rigidity was the first step to seizing up and only being able to have sex missionary style. If he noticed a student that seemed to be having trouble opening up to new possibilities, he would ask them “What new things are you not open to your life? Threesomes, anal sex, public sex?” The answers to these questions would help The Chemical Buddha form a “treatment plan” for the student. If they still resisted and/or hesitated, he would try and scare them by letting them know they were showing the first warning signs of becoming rigid and brittle branches break. Supple branches bend (and are good for spanking). In some extreme cases, he would “suggest” gang bangs to help open up a student (literally). Let the record clearly state that the police were never able to prove these forcible sex parties were anything more than a suggestion.
In your life, where are you too rigid or too flexible?
What steps could help you achieve more balance? And if you’re open to trying a gang bang, as one of these steps, where do you live? Since TCB’s passing, it’s been awhile since we’ve participated in one.

Grateful and Dead

“The long-term prognosis for all of us isn’t that good.”
One of the things that drove The Chemical Buddha (if you could call it that) was the thought of his immanent death. Knowing he might die at any moment, TCB was determined to get as much enjoyment out of his time here as was humanly possible. Some say he was too obsessed and that it actually contributed to his early demise. One thing we can learn from his behavior though is that if we take a short-term view of things, smaller issues fade away. The Chemical Buddha thought that when we frame our problems in terms of life and death, everything got a lot easier. Here’s an example of his thinking, “I may die tomorrow so I should drink all this beer, smoke all this pot and fuck whoever I can today.” And if he lived to see the next day, he would repeat the process. Until one day, his final breath (although it was more of a gasp) did come.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
How could you benefit from boiling things down into simpler terms?

Passion of the Buddha

"Happily letting my life go to pot. (And other drugs.)"
The Chemical Buddha never understood why people would tell him his life was going to pot with such disdain. The idea of a pot filled life didn't bother him at all. In fact, he took it as a compliment. Besides, what was he supposed to do? Let his life go to work? Let his life go to buying a bunch of crap he didn't need? Let his life go to judging other people and trying to make himself look better than them? Now that seemed like a waste of time. Pot seemed to be a lot better than all of those options. Personally, The Chemical Buddha didn't care what his followers let their lives go to. As long at they cared about whatever 'it' was and followed it with a passion. Because to him, a life without caring and love might as well be called death.
What are you passionate about? How often do you follow your passion?
What one thing are you willing to give your life to?