Bliss This

"Bliss has many forms: smokeable, injectable, drinkable, edible, and fuckable."
Like Joseph Campbell, The Chemical Buddha was a big believer in doing what (and who) made you happy. Luckily for TCB, there were a lot of things that made him happy, so he didn't need to limit himself to one form of bliss. He attributed his happiness and longevity, such that it was, to his vast menu of things he liked. However, unlike Mr. Campbell, The Chemical Buddha was perfectly OK with his bliss coming at the expense of others. In his mind, his selfishness (or bliss bogarting) would spur people to get fed up with being taken advantage of and eventually find their own form of bliss to follow.
What makes you happy?
What are you willing to do to be happy?
Are you willing to potentially be miserable in the short-term if it means you'll have long-term happiness?

I Declare

"Sex is like pizza. It’s all good, just some is better than others."
The Chemical Buddha was a fan of sex. (I know, I know, it’s hard to believe, but it's true.) He also was a fan of eating. Sometimes choosing between the two depended upon which of them he did last. During his life he realized that he rarely came across, what he considered, bad pizza. Sure. He had his favorite pie from a preferred place. But really, pizza was pizza and he enjoyed it more than a lot of other things he could eat. The same thing applied to sex. As long as he was having some form of sex, he was happy. Sure, there were certain kinds of sexual positions and/or acts that he'd choose over other kinds. But as long as his dick was involved he was happy. And the pursuit of happiness was what he was all about. (The Chemical Buddha actually tried to take credit for the coming up with the pursuit of happiness until someone pointed out it was in the United States Declaration of Independence. However, he deflected that comment by saying that in an earlier incarnation he was the writer of said declaration.)
Do you believe you create your own happiness or that it comes from outside of yourself?
What makes you happy?
What do you do when you’re not happy?

Meet Mr. Happy

“We're all fundamentally unhappy.”
The Chemical Buddha couldn’t quite figure people out. Most seemed to focus on what was wrong, rather than what was right. Others seemed to worry more about when the good times would end, rather than enjoying them while they were going on. TCB figured unhappiness was man’s natural state and happiness, therefore, must be the unnatural state. He surmised that we must be fundamentally unhappy. But he couldn’t quite reconcile that with the fact that he spent his waking hours feeling happy. Of course, maybe that was because he was either drunk or stoned most of the time. When he first starting promoting his alternative lifestyle/religion, he made this one of its pillars. But, no matter how unhappy it seemed to make them, most people choose to cling to their current lifestyle.
What do you cling too? Does it make you happy or unhappy?
Would letting go of it free you up for something else or have you convinced yourself it won’t make a difference?

What's Next?

“Always looking for something better.”
The Chemical Buddha had a lot of respect for people who seemed to be content with the simple things. For the boring and mundane things that went on and on and on and on. He, on the other had, was always looking for what was just over the next horizon. He believed it was this quest that allowed us (as a culture) to progress. If we were all happy where we were, new lands would never have been found. Let alone all the amazing sex aids that have been created since man first found the joy of pulling his own crank. And none of the new drugs would have been synthesized. Yes. It was this quest for something better that had the human race stretching beyond what seemed impossible decades earlier. And no matter how unhappy this search made us, it was all worth it.
Are you happy where you are, or do you think the next thing will make you happy?
What is wrong with where you are now? Do you think your search will take you someplace different?

You Like Me. You Really, Really, Like Me.

“Life is the only thing worth living.”
Admittedly, The Chemical Buddha was pretty stoned when he said this because it seems like a pretty obvious duh? But The Chemical Buddha wasn’t so sure it was that easy. To him, it seemed like a lot of people lived their lives for someone else. So he wasn’t sure if that qualified as living or not. But he definitely didn't think so. He preferred to live his life for himself. Although there were times he saw that he had lived to impress others or to try to get other people to like him. And while it did push him to ‘clean up’ his act, it didn’t necessarily make him happy. In fact, he sometimes gave up some pretty important things in order to go after what he wanted. Then, when he got the object of his desire, he missed what he had given up to get it. This created an unending cycle of unhappiness for TCB. So he decided to start living for himself and hoped he would find someone that liked him for him.
Do you think you’re worthy of being loved just as you are? Why or why not?
What have you given up to be loved?

Spiritual Materialism

“Give your life to God. Give your money to The Chemical Buddha.”
The Chemical Buddha had no problem with people giving up their material possessions in order to follow their spiritual calling. In fact, he encouraged it. As long as they were giving their stuff to him. As a spiritual leader, he felt it was necessary he have all the stuff his position entitled him to. Mainly sex, drugs and gourmet food. And believe us, TCB had to spend a lot on all of those to get his fill (or to get someone to fuck him). If any of his friends even hinted they were going to join a monastery or walk the earth to find their purpose, The Chemical Buddha would offer to ‘watch’ their stuff while they were gone. If, by chance, they returned for their stuff (be it months or hours later) he would usually say something about them being happier without all that 'shit' weighing them down.
Do you think it’s possible to live a spiritual and material life?
Do things, people or experiences make you happy?

Come Again

“One in the bush is worth two in the hand.”
No The Chemical Buddha didn’t misquote the old ‘bird in the hand’ cliché. That’s because when he said this he wasn’t talking about birds. Don’t get me wrong, The Chemical Buddha was famous for chasing what he didn’t have. Even when he’d just got done capturing something else he’d been chasing. He always wanted the next thing. In general, he got a lot of satisfaction in the chase. But because he spent most of his time searching, his satisfaction was short lived. He found the secret was to hop from one thing to the next, never settling for too long on any one thing. That kept him happy, if not exhausted.
Are you satisfied with what you have or do you want the next thing?
Do you find this makes you more happy or unhappy?

Take Two, They're Small

“The true prescription for happiness is a prescription.”
Like a lot of seekers, The Chemical Buddha started on his path in search of happiness. And over the course of his life he was often asked by other his thoughts on the prescription for happiness. In order to appear helpful, he would ask questions about what the pilgrim had already tried to achieve happiness in his or her life. Then he would either recommend something they didn’t say or he would suggest whatever it was he had last taken. Sometimes he would offer to sell them whatever he still had on him. Even if it was a roach, a half tab of acid or a beer can with a little bit of luke warm backwash. No one could accuse TCB of not being thoughtful (and greedy).
How do you make yourself happy?
How might you make other people/things responsible for your happiness?

The Holy Trinity

“Get paid. Get laid. Got it made.”
This saying comes from the early years of The Chemical Buddha. So early in fact, he actually had a job when this was said. This insight is believed to have been uttered shortly after TCB received his first paycheck and was later referred to as the Holy Trinity. (But that was before The Chemical Buddha realized he could get paid and laid by starting his own religious movement.) While IRS records show The Chemical Buddha did indeed get paid. And his “Book of Conquests Volume One” shows that he did get laid. We have no word on whether or not he ever got it made. Although rumor has it, he felt as if he did until the oxytocin of sex wore off and he ran out of money.
What do you need to be happy?
How much of that is truly attainable and how long does your feeling of happiness last?

Pull My Finger

“Addicted to feelin’ good.”
The Chemical Buddha would do whatever it took to avoid feeling “bad”. His was a life dedicated to the total pursuit of feeling good. He didn’t care what he had to do to get there or who he might make feel bad (or humiliated) in the process. In fact, some of his best times were at the expense of others. Be it stupid practical jokes like taking a dump in someone’s toilet tank, spreading rumors, or fucking their significant other. Unfortunately, like any addiction, he found he had to up his behavior to get the same “good” feeling. But as he grew older, he realized these actions were costing him friends. He also found that he had no respect for those who were willing to put up with his behaviors and he didn’t like hanging out with them. Towards the end of his life, TCB attempted to make amends with friends he’d alienated. In doing so, he was surprised to find he enjoyed help making other people happy a lot more then he liked making just himself feel happy.
What makes you feel good? What extremes are you willing to do to have that feeling?
What is the cost to you of trying to avoid bad feelings?

Hung Over Until Next Year

“The better the night, the worse the day after.”
Often The Chemical Buddha would be seen enjoying himself one night only to look like the undead the next day. The good news is, he would just start all over again and have another "best night of his life." The Chemical Buddha believed this pointed to the transitory nature of life. One moment you're up, the next you're down and vice versa. He recommended not becoming too attached to one or the other because it will only change. And both are a part of each other. There is a little bad in every good and a little good in every bad. At the dawning of the Christian New Year (because the Western calendar is based on the presumed birth of Jesus), if he were still among us, The Chemical Buddha would hope you are able to apply the learnings of this past to attain more happiness and fulfillment today. Or, he would at least hope you'd fill up on whatever makes you happy.
What is the cost of the highs and lows in your life?
What one thing from your past do you need to learn from in order to attain happiness today?

Past Perfect Tense

"People always think the past was simpler. But as far as I can tell, they still lied, cheated and killed each other back then too."
The Chemical Buddha couldn't figure out what the fascination with the past or the good ol’ days was about. Yes, things were simpler then. As in you had to take what you could get. Plagues from God could just wipe you out. Or people would torture you trying to get you to worship their God(s). People still killed each other. Did unspeakable things to children and the old. Cheated on their wives and most of the STDs we have today are from back then. No, now is best time to be alive. With designer drugs, internet porn, and you can be scarred for life without ever leaving the security of your four walls. People have always done this stuff and as far as The Chemical Buddha could tell, always would. Maybe not as a society or culture, but individually people will continue to hurt each other. So we might as well enjoy all of the comforts we have.
What part of your past do you cling to and what is the cost to you and your happiness?
Someone once said, "True forgiveness is not wishing for a better past." What one thing do you need to let go of to forgive yourself and others?