"I'm unable to think farther ahead than the tip of my dick."
The Chemical Buddha wasn't much of a planner. He claimed that was because it would require him to leave the now and actually think ahead. We think it was a convenient excuse to forget birthdays, holidays, dinner plans, or the need to lift the toilet seat before he pissed. Because anyone that spent anytime around him knew he thought ahead a little bit. Or at least as far ahead as his dick would reach. And believe us, that wasn't very far. How he was able to reconcile this version of thinking ahead while claiming to be in the now was truly an amazing feat. He usually justified it by saying "I'm horny now so I'm trying to find who I can fuck now. And I will make choices based on who I think will let me fuck them in the future." This thinking got The Chemical Buddha to adopt fads, buy shit he didn’t need and cancel whole evenings thinking he would get laid. Which didn't work.
Do you plan or let things happen? What is the result of that in your life?
Would you be better served to plan more or less?
What do you like and dislike about planning?
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
High Enough for Ya?
"Some speak of a Higher Power. I know there is a Higher Dosage."
As an enlightened being, The Chemical Buddha was often asked his thoughts on the idea of a higher power. Usually, TCB would reply with a question of his own, "Higher than what?" Partially because he was confused how much higher people wanted their power to be. The whole concept of higher power was beyond him. Plus, he figured if such a thing actually existed, he would find out sometime in the future. However, in the here and now, he knew there was such a thing as a higher dosage (which led him to today's teaching). When he was completely wasted, he wondered if there was a relationship between a higher power and a higher dosage. Eventually, he came to know that a higher dosage would lead him to a higher power (if one existed).
How much time do you spend thinking about the here and now?
How much time do you spend thinking about the future?
How does planning for the future keep you from enjoying the here and now?
How does enjoying the here and now keep you from planning for the future?
As an enlightened being, The Chemical Buddha was often asked his thoughts on the idea of a higher power. Usually, TCB would reply with a question of his own, "Higher than what?" Partially because he was confused how much higher people wanted their power to be. The whole concept of higher power was beyond him. Plus, he figured if such a thing actually existed, he would find out sometime in the future. However, in the here and now, he knew there was such a thing as a higher dosage (which led him to today's teaching). When he was completely wasted, he wondered if there was a relationship between a higher power and a higher dosage. Eventually, he came to know that a higher dosage would lead him to a higher power (if one existed).
How much time do you spend thinking about the here and now?
How much time do you spend thinking about the future?
How does planning for the future keep you from enjoying the here and now?
How does enjoying the here and now keep you from planning for the future?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Karma Kash
"Salvation doesn't come cheap. Which is why I offer payment plans."
Everyone always talks about wanting to be saved. They seemed worried about what was after this life and concerned that their actions here might have an impact on whatever comes next. The Chemical Buddha thought everyone should put their energy into living a life where they didn't have to worry about 'heaven' or the 'afterlife'. TCB's plan was to deal with life as it happened. No need to worry about the end. You might miss what's happening now. Of course, none of that prevented him from taking advantage of people's fear and charging them for salvation. Or, as he called it, 'possible salvation'. That way, if there was an afterlife people couldn't be too pissed at him for not reading the fine print of his offer.
Are you proud of the life you lead?
What secrets from your past do you worry about people uncovering?
How much time do you spend thinking about the past and the future?
How much time to you spend thinking about the present?
Everyone always talks about wanting to be saved. They seemed worried about what was after this life and concerned that their actions here might have an impact on whatever comes next. The Chemical Buddha thought everyone should put their energy into living a life where they didn't have to worry about 'heaven' or the 'afterlife'. TCB's plan was to deal with life as it happened. No need to worry about the end. You might miss what's happening now. Of course, none of that prevented him from taking advantage of people's fear and charging them for salvation. Or, as he called it, 'possible salvation'. That way, if there was an afterlife people couldn't be too pissed at him for not reading the fine print of his offer.
Are you proud of the life you lead?
What secrets from your past do you worry about people uncovering?
How much time do you spend thinking about the past and the future?
How much time to you spend thinking about the present?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Everlasting Now
“During a one-night stand, you're either cumming or going.”
We’re not sure how many multi-night stands The Chemical Buddha actually had, but we’re sure he was one of the only people who was so quick he could come and go at pretty much the same time. To TCB, this spoke to the transitory nature of life. Here one minute. Gone the next. How every moment is different than the one before it and it only takes a second for the entire world to change. This is one of the reasons The Chemical Buddha lived his life as he did. Because, when his time came, he didn’t want to have any regrets.
Do you appreciate the moment you’re in or do you look forward to the next moment?
If you’re looking toward the future how does always looking forward affect you?
If you’re always in the moment, how does not planning affect you?
We’re not sure how many multi-night stands The Chemical Buddha actually had, but we’re sure he was one of the only people who was so quick he could come and go at pretty much the same time. To TCB, this spoke to the transitory nature of life. Here one minute. Gone the next. How every moment is different than the one before it and it only takes a second for the entire world to change. This is one of the reasons The Chemical Buddha lived his life as he did. Because, when his time came, he didn’t want to have any regrets.
Do you appreciate the moment you’re in or do you look forward to the next moment?
If you’re looking toward the future how does always looking forward affect you?
If you’re always in the moment, how does not planning affect you?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Back to the Future
“Too many people worry about what's next instead of what's now.”
The Chemical Buddha was all about the now. Except when he was looking forward to his next high or lay. Which was pretty much all the time. But we digress. He found people worried about what was going to happen next and missed what was happening now. Before someone even had a moment to enjoy the bite of food they were eating, they were already taking the next bite. He thought this was because the brain was all about looking for the 'what’s next.' While the body was about enjoying the what’s now. TCB found being stoned slowed his brain down enough for him to enjoy what’s now. He had heard that other's used meditation to do the same thing.
Do you live your life in the past, present or future?
Where would you prefer to live you life? What would it take for you to do it?
The Chemical Buddha was all about the now. Except when he was looking forward to his next high or lay. Which was pretty much all the time. But we digress. He found people worried about what was going to happen next and missed what was happening now. Before someone even had a moment to enjoy the bite of food they were eating, they were already taking the next bite. He thought this was because the brain was all about looking for the 'what’s next.' While the body was about enjoying the what’s now. TCB found being stoned slowed his brain down enough for him to enjoy what’s now. He had heard that other's used meditation to do the same thing.
Do you live your life in the past, present or future?
Where would you prefer to live you life? What would it take for you to do it?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Future is Never Now
“Today is the compost of tomorrow.”
The Chemical Buddha believed in recycling and composting. And, as a Buddhist, he did believe in Karma, as long as it fit his needs. So based on those two lines of thought, if everything he did the day before was the compost/fertilizer of today, then the more shit that happened in the past, the more the current day had to grow out of. Although TCB never gardened, he did know enough from pot cultivation that you had to till the ground, fertilize it, plant seeds and give it water and light or you wouldn’t have anything to smoke. He also knew that a little bit of foreplay was required (or lube) or he’d get friction burns. To his thinking, everything had an order it needed to happen in. You can’t get to tomorrow without going through today. As much as The Chemical Buddha wanted to get to the future, he still had to drink the beer to get drunk. He couldn’t just be drunk.
How much of your life do you spend planning for the future? How much of the now do you miss with your planning?
Do you believe in a natural order of things or do you try to jump ahead? What's the impact on you?
The Chemical Buddha believed in recycling and composting. And, as a Buddhist, he did believe in Karma, as long as it fit his needs. So based on those two lines of thought, if everything he did the day before was the compost/fertilizer of today, then the more shit that happened in the past, the more the current day had to grow out of. Although TCB never gardened, he did know enough from pot cultivation that you had to till the ground, fertilize it, plant seeds and give it water and light or you wouldn’t have anything to smoke. He also knew that a little bit of foreplay was required (or lube) or he’d get friction burns. To his thinking, everything had an order it needed to happen in. You can’t get to tomorrow without going through today. As much as The Chemical Buddha wanted to get to the future, he still had to drink the beer to get drunk. He couldn’t just be drunk.
How much of your life do you spend planning for the future? How much of the now do you miss with your planning?
Do you believe in a natural order of things or do you try to jump ahead? What's the impact on you?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Futuristic
“The secret to getting a low life insurance rate is to live a life not worth living.”
No one would give The Chemical Buddha a low auto, life or health insurance policy. He figured that was because he lived a life that was too exciting and full for anyone to be willing to take a risk that he would be around long enough for them to make any money off of him. As it turns out, they were right. TCB assumed if he lived a less interesting/exciting life he would have been able to cover his future. But, as we’ve already discussed over and over, The Chemical Buddha was all about the now. Why spend money on some future event that may or may not happen, when he could be using that money to have a good time? Of course, he was all in favor of acquiring debt that would have to be paid off in the future because he didn’t plan on ever seeing that.
What do you save for the future?
What makes you think you’ll actually get there to do it?
No one would give The Chemical Buddha a low auto, life or health insurance policy. He figured that was because he lived a life that was too exciting and full for anyone to be willing to take a risk that he would be around long enough for them to make any money off of him. As it turns out, they were right. TCB assumed if he lived a less interesting/exciting life he would have been able to cover his future. But, as we’ve already discussed over and over, The Chemical Buddha was all about the now. Why spend money on some future event that may or may not happen, when he could be using that money to have a good time? Of course, he was all in favor of acquiring debt that would have to be paid off in the future because he didn’t plan on ever seeing that.
What do you save for the future?
What makes you think you’ll actually get there to do it?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Ready!
“If a man takes his shoes off, he's ready to have sex.”
It didn’t take The Chemical Buddha much time to get ready. In fact, people often wished he’d take a little more time prepping himself. But TCB was an ‘in the moment guy’ and to him, prepping meant he wasn’t in the moment, but instead in the future trying to predict what would happen next. And it there was one thing The Chemical Buddha knew he couldn’t predict, it was the future. He’d been wrong so many times, he decided to hone in on the now. Although he often found he didn’t have any idea what was going on in the now either. However, if there was one thing you could count on from TCB, when he went to a woman’s house or had one over, he took off his shoes.
Do you plan for the future or let it happen?
What do you to do to be ready for big moments?
It didn’t take The Chemical Buddha much time to get ready. In fact, people often wished he’d take a little more time prepping himself. But TCB was an ‘in the moment guy’ and to him, prepping meant he wasn’t in the moment, but instead in the future trying to predict what would happen next. And it there was one thing The Chemical Buddha knew he couldn’t predict, it was the future. He’d been wrong so many times, he decided to hone in on the now. Although he often found he didn’t have any idea what was going on in the now either. However, if there was one thing you could count on from TCB, when he went to a woman’s house or had one over, he took off his shoes.
Do you plan for the future or let it happen?
What do you to do to be ready for big moments?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Spiritually Bankrupt
“Jesus saves. Chemical Buddha owes.”
The Chemical Buddha would always see the words ‘Jesus Saves’ and he couldn’t ever figure out what that meant. Did it mean Jesus saves money? Coupons? Baby seals? What exactly does he save? If it was money, TCB couldn’t see the benefit of doing that. Every dollar that was in his pocket was a dollar that could be out making sure he was having a good time. The Chemical Buddha would also borrow against the future to have a good time now. His thinking is summed up in the simple idea: ‘I always eat my dessert first, because I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to make it the end of the meal.’ In fact, TCB was so in the now, he didn’t think about the future at all. And once he got there, he was always surprised at how fucked up everything was.
What do you think about the most? The past? The present? Or the future?
How does that influence your level of satisfaction with your life?
The Chemical Buddha would always see the words ‘Jesus Saves’ and he couldn’t ever figure out what that meant. Did it mean Jesus saves money? Coupons? Baby seals? What exactly does he save? If it was money, TCB couldn’t see the benefit of doing that. Every dollar that was in his pocket was a dollar that could be out making sure he was having a good time. The Chemical Buddha would also borrow against the future to have a good time now. His thinking is summed up in the simple idea: ‘I always eat my dessert first, because I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to make it the end of the meal.’ In fact, TCB was so in the now, he didn’t think about the future at all. And once he got there, he was always surprised at how fucked up everything was.
What do you think about the most? The past? The present? Or the future?
How does that influence your level of satisfaction with your life?
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