Balance Sheet

“We're all just entries on someone's profit and loss report.”
The Chemical Buddha could become quite cynical when he thought about big business and how everything was just about money. This usually came to a head whenever he got calls/letters from creditors trying to collect on all the money he owed them. He would scream into the phone, ‘I’m more than a number you fuck head!’ But he also realized big business looked at people as potential customers and, therefore, as potential profit centers. And that big business didn’t care if you lived or died, as long as you bought a bunch of their shit while you were alive. Oh, and hopefully created some more future consumers while you were here. Although you might call them children (or someone to put you in the an old age home and sell all of your stuff off and skip town with all of your money).
How do you see people in your life? As living things or as someone who can do something for you?
How do you think other people see you?
Do you get more out of the stuff you own or experiences you have?

Die Debt Free

“What they don't say is, you don't take the debt with you either.”
The Chemical Buddha was a fan of the saying, ‘you can’t take it with you.’ Of course, he applied that saying when he was asking people for them to give him their stuff or commenting on a STD he had just given a sex partner. Then, one day after twisting up a fatty of Maui Wowie, this all got turned on its head. It was on this day that TCB realized one of the biggest secrets no one ever talked about was you didn’t take the huge amounts of debt with you either. This insight lead to a massive credit fueled shopping spree that literally stripped the tri-county area of every six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Twinkie and stick of beef jerky. To say he spent it on stuff that had absolutely no value once it was used up would be an understatement. (Unless you count recycling beer cans as value).
What baggage do you carry around with you and how does it affect your life?
Do you see it as a choice to carry it around or do you think you have to carry it? What would it take to change your perspective and truly free yourself from your past?

Futuristic

“The secret to getting a low life insurance rate is to live a life not worth living.”
No one would give The Chemical Buddha a low auto, life or health insurance policy. He figured that was because he lived a life that was too exciting and full for anyone to be willing to take a risk that he would be around long enough for them to make any money off of him. As it turns out, they were right. TCB assumed if he lived a less interesting/exciting life he would have been able to cover his future. But, as we’ve already discussed over and over, The Chemical Buddha was all about the now. Why spend money on some future event that may or may not happen, when he could be using that money to have a good time? Of course, he was all in favor of acquiring debt that would have to be paid off in the future because he didn’t plan on ever seeing that.
What do you save for the future?
What makes you think you’ll actually get there to do it?

Fun on Layaway

“Better to spend it while you’re young, than have it when you’re old.”
The Chemical Buddha noticed that unless you’re a trust fund baby, most of us have to work to acquire money and stuff. (We’re pretty sure he was one of the first to make this keen observation.) The thing about youth is that's when you're the most attractive. You're most flexible. You're most open to trying new things. You have the most free time to see the world. But few of us have the money. That’s why TCB thought it was better to go massively into debt to do all those things and then spend the rest of your life paying it off. Because if you only have the money to do it when you’re old, then all you’ll want to do is boring shit like gardening, reading, and crossword puzzles. And who needs money to do that?
What are you waiting to do in your life?
What do you wish you would have done earlier in your life and why? What’s preventing you from doing it now?

3 Easy Payments of $19.99 Plus S&H

“Infomercials ruined my life.”
Now that The Chemical Buddha had so much time on his hands, he found TV and drugs to be a dangerous, and expensive, cocktail. After one particular late night of imbibing and watching late night TV informercials, The Chemical Buddha found himself thousands of dollars in debt (all broken out into 3 low payments) thanks to Ron Popeil and his fabulous Ronco products. Then there was his purchases from QVC, because everyone needs the complete set Good Times ceramic figurines and theater quality Fraggle Rock puppets. The Chemical Buddha was particularly excited about the puppets and even had them shipped express. He was sure they would help him ‘wow!’ the ladies at his neighborhood bar. However, history would show this was yet another thing TCB was wrong about.
Who has persuaded you with their words and lured you in with their promise of flatter abs and a blender that can grind up concrete?
What do you fall for every time, only to experience buyers remorse when you have time to think about it?