Enlighten This

"The truly unenlightened are always willing to tell you how enlightened they are."
The Chemical Buddha found people were always happy to tell him where he'd fucked up his life. And how much better they were than him. But what he also discovered was these very same people were often just as fucked up as he was. If not more. It was during this time he learned to trust his own counsel more. He also learned to consider the context of the person giving the advice. TCB knew everyone had their own problems to deal with. Said another way, he found no one's life was as perfect as it seemed. However, this didn't stop him from seeking the advice of others. He just didn't feel as compelled to follow it.
How do you let other's opinions of you influence your thought process?
What would happen if you trusted your own instincts and did what you thought was best? How would your life be different?

The Gift of Life

"Life is a gift most of us treat like we don't want."
Believe it or not, there was a time before The Chemical Buddha attained enlightenment. During that period of his life, TCB spent most of his time complaining about life. (He would later learn to enjoy the bounty of flesh, drugs, and raucous good times that were available to him.) During this time he was known to sulk and deeply sigh. But eventually, like most spiritual teachers, he experienced an awakening and saw life as the gift it was. However, it wasn't a near-death experience but rather when he ate some cold French fries he found in the bottom of his car while he was high. He claimed they were the best fries ever! From that moment forward he took it upon himself to wear his life out. To fully experience the gift he had been given.
What are you treating like you don't want?
What changes do you need to make to get the absolute most out of what you've been given?

Ahhh, Memories

"You always remember your first, your last, and the one who gave you herpes."
The Chemical Buddha tried to draw a lot of parallels between life and sex. To him life was sex and sex was life (or at least a really good reason for living life anyway.) From an evolutionary perspective, we are here to reproduce and carry on our genes. Plus, it felt really, really good. With this understanding it's easy to make sense of today's insight. Because in sex, like life, The Chemical Buddha remembered the first and last time he did something as well as any catastrophic event in between. (Or at least the first time he recognized it happened). But all the rest, was just a blur and usually lost in the fog of his mind.
What are the big moments you need to pay attention to in your life?
And what would be better off forgotten?
What do you remember and why?

Testosteroni

"Women have many reasons not to have sex like, 'I just met you'. However, men have only one reason: they're passed out."
We're pretty sure The Chemical Buddha didn't have the world's most active sex drive. In fact, we think there were probably some breeds of dogs and goats that were hornier. Oh, and rabbits. All that said, TCB was always looking for an opportunity to hump something, anything. Sometimes he could actually be found rubbing up against the arm of a chair. We're not sure if that was due to the fact that The Chemical Buddha didn't get laid very much or if he was just that full of testosterone. Although he did go bald at an early age and always had five o’clock shadow by noon.
What are your reasons for not doing things?
Are you more likely to say 'no' or 'yes' to trying something new?
In general, are you more comfortable trying something new or do you like a routine?

Live from Life!

"Better to be all dead than half alive."
The Chemical Buddha was all in favor of getting the most he could out of life. That said, he often ran into people who held back from life and didn't seem to fully embrace it. (And by 'embrace it' TCB usually meant embrace him and by 'him' he meant little Chemical Buddha.) But he would try to hide all that meaning in today's insight. If you reread it with what you've just learned, this meditation is best summed up as: "Better to be all dead than not to have sex with me." After seeing several walks of shame, we can say most people looked like they would have preferred to be dead. Taken at it's less sexual meaning, The Chemical Buddha believed this was our one shot to do what we wanted to do. So why not go for it? Oh, wait, I think we're talking about sex again.
How often do you fully engage in your life?
Of those times you fully engage, how often do you give 100%? If you don't do it very often, what holds you back?
How would you feel about your life if everything ended today? What would you need to do different to feel good about your life and yourself?

Fucking Polluted

"Although you can't step into the same stream twice, you can pollute the hell out of it and kill everything in it."
This insight came from the time The Chemical Buddha was an environmental activist. He really just did it for the chicks and once they all rejected him, he moved on. Besides, all the environment-killing capitalists had all of the booze and their women were hot and had daddy issues. So they would just fuck TCB to get back at their dads. It was a win-win-win for The Chemical Buddha. But, for a brief period of time, he was appalled at the environmental degradation he witnessed. Luckily, he never drew the parallel between what was being done to the world around him and what he was doing to his body. But then, he always had a selective attention span.
What do you choose not to notice?
How involved are you in your life? Do you actively live it or passively live it?

Fucking fun

"The best things in life cause STDs."
There are multiple sex related insights from The Chemical Buddha. (We're going to hazard a guess and say about 99.9% of TCB's waking time was spent thinking about sex, making jokes about sex or trying to get someone to have sex with him.) This one was used whenever a recent sexual partner complained about contracting an STD from TCB. (There's some nice symmetry.) Although they would often reply (sometimes at the top of their lungs) that sex with him wasn't even in the top 1 million of life's best things. But that didn't deter him from believing it was all worth it. In fact, he would readily admit that he was the best he had ever had. But that might have been because he could only clearly remember having sex with himself.
What are you favorite things about life?
How much time do you spend doing them?
How much time do you spend doing things you don't enjoy?
What could you do to enjoy yourself more of the time?

Macho Man

"Although today's a good day to die, I'd rather not."
The Chemical Buddha lived his life like he could die at any moment. So he wanted to get the most out of every moment. One of his mantras was, "Today is a good day to die." We’re not sure but he probably heard it in some war movie or something. Generally, when he said it, it was when he was trying to be macho. Like just before he did a shot of tequila, or plunged a syringe of heroin into his arm. There were a few times he had to be rushed to the hospital with an overdose (or alcohol poisoning). When he came to, he would yell, "Why the fuck did you let me do that!?! Are you trying to kill me or something? Shit! Motherfucker!" We're sure the last two words were just because TCB liked to cuss so he'd seem all macho and shit.
What do you do to make it seem like you don't care?
When you're afraid, what do you do to act like you're not?
What do you like about your life?
What don't you like?

Full of Life

"Life is a drinking game."
The Chemical Buddha said a lot of things that he thought were clever. However, this might be one of the very few things he said that other people actually thought was clever too. (It also worked as a good excuse to be drunk all of the time.) TCB used this insight to remind himself not to take life too seriously. He thought life was a game where you figured out how to win as you went along. (By win, TCB meant getting what you wanted out of life.) He noticed that everyone operated under a different set of rules. But, for whatever reason, drinking seemed to help people forget the rules they learned and just go for what they wanted to do.
Do you think life has 'rules'?
If so, what 'rules' do you follow?
What 'rules' do you want others to follow?
Do you think there are 'rules' that apply only to you? And ones that apply only to others?
If so, what are they?

Doing Life

"Most men do whoever will do them."
The Chemical Buddha recognized men had primal needs. Where the desire for orgasmic release could become all consuming. (Just so you know, the concept that women liked to get laid too took a little bit for him to get his head around. But he gradually came to accept and appreciate it.) This primal need was one of the biggest obstacles everyone had to over come. Which is why several of his other insights dealt with going ugly early, etc. Because TCB wasn't against the orgasm per say, but more the constant pursuit of a sexual partner. That’s why he promoted the use of hookers, massage parlors offering happy endings and masturbation. TCB thought this allowed for the orgasm to be achieved when wanted and needed. He thought it was important to choose the time, rather than the other way around. (But we're not exactly sure what the hell he meant by that.)
Do you choose how your life goes or do you listen to other people?
Do you think you're powerless over you life or that you have a say?
Is life 'doing you' or are you 'doing life'? (If you're in prison and reading this, your answer may vary depending on your sentence.)

Yawn

"Addicted to ego."
In the beginning, most of what drove The Chemical Buddha was his ego. His ego always wanted the next new, shiny thing. The next delicious treat. He always wanted to see a new woman naked. But as he simplified his life down to Twinkies, pot, and sex (he would always want to see someone new naked). His ego had less of an impact on his life. Of course his life was really, really, boring and even we don't have much to say about this time.
What part of your life are you constantly changing? Why do you think it needs to change?
How much of your life do you spend 'bored'?
What excites you about your life?

You Better Believe it

"True enlightenment is dispensed by a pharmacist, not a guru."
One of the things The Chemical Buddha didn't like about the guru's path to enlightenment was how vague it was. They couldn't tell you when your consciousness would be altered. All they could say was how it would happen. And that usually meant practice over a long period of time. A pharmacist, on the other hand, had a very specific prescription measured out to achieve the desired effect. If it didn't work, he could always make tweaks to get you to where you wanted to be. TCB saw it as the classic religion/spirituality versus science debate. He laughed until tears rolled down his face thinking about how two different paths (that oftentimes fought with each other) could end up in the same place. To him, this spoke to the limited range of the human experience and the craziness of anyone saying this was all there was based on their own limited range.
Do you follow the rules or fly by the seat of your pants? Which way do you think works better?
Do you think only you understand your experiences? Or do you think other people can relate to what you're going through?

The Concession Stand is Now Open

"By the time you get it all figured out, it’s over."
When The Chemical Buddha came up with this insight, he wasn't talking about life. (Like many people have suggested.) Rather, he was commenting on a movie he had just watched. Although many spiritual teachers have used the metaphor of movies being like life. They say watching a movie is how life appears to the inner witness. The witness is entirely entertained, but knows life is just a 'movie'. While it’s true TCB could have been ahead of the spiritual masters (or at least at the end) when it came to the movie/life reference there's no way to tell since TCB's life story only had one reel (or DVD with no out takes or bonus features). When The Chemical Buddha combined his insight with the other movie metaphor, he became bound and determined to never figure anything out again because he was afraid it would just end. So his remaining years were more like a bad movie with no plot. But even bad movies end.
How would you see your life differently if you viewed it as a movie?
Would you be more attached to what happened in it or less?
How might your perspective change?

Let go

"Dying is easy. Living is hard."
Everywhere The Chemical Buddha went people seemed to be worried about or avoiding the thought of dying. To TCB, dying would take care of itself. It would happen when it happened, so why worry about it? He thought living was the thing most people seemed to struggle with. They seemed to be afraid of living. Holding back. Not engaging fully. Putting themselves into a box. Hopefully, by now, you've learned that The Chemical Buddha threw himself into life. He wanted to partake in any and everything. Whether that meant injecting, ingesting or intercoursing. Oftentimes, he ended up infected and infirmed, but he would say that was just a part of the rich tapestry of life.
What is your approach to life?
What are your thoughts on death?
Do you spend more time thinking about living or dying?
What do you need to do to live more?
What do you need to do to prepare for death?

Back in the High Life Again

"If you're not high on life, I've got something that'll help."
The Chemical Buddha was all about enjoying the moment. He subscribed to taking life's highlights and making them even higher. In fact, he found, with the right 'state' of mind, even mundane things like doing the dishes could be enjoyable. Although, with all of those pretty bubbles to watch, it might take forever to actually get the dishes clean. TCB was all about taking things to the next level. Including the crushing lows he experienced after coming down from life’s 'highlights.' He reasoned, why be depressed when you could be clinically depressed? As you'll see in the insight from June 22nd, to him, it was important to get the most out of everything.
Do you get the most out of life or do you hold a little bit back?
If so, what prevents you from fully stepping into life?
Do you have highs, lows or just try to keep everything on an even keel?
Do you consider a display of excessive emotion to be 'good' or 'bad'? If so, why?

Guilt This!

"Guilt is what someone else thinks you should have done."
As we've discussed several times over, The Chemical Buddha had no use for guilt. He always did what he thought was right at the time. Just because someone disagreed with his choices was no reason to feel bad about it. In general, he found the people who tried to make him feel guilty about something usually lived boring lives where they were scared of their own shadows. And then felt guilty about being scared. TCB knew he only got this one life (and if he came back, it would be as some lowly slug or something. Especially after the life he'd lived.) so why feel guilty about living it?
What do you regret about your life?
Do you feel guilty about stuff you do or feel like you should feel guilty or both?
Do you think there are things people shouldn't do?
If so, what?

Inhale Deeply. Hold. Exhale. Fly.

"Life is like pot smoke. It can make you cough and choke or it can make you high."
The Chemical Buddha was known to partake in some of the 'herb' from time to time. (And by time to time we mean every waking moment.) But he noticed his enjoyment of cannabis (as it was known in Latin circles) depended on the quality. Some of it made him choke and cough incessantly. While other times his experience was smooth and instantly intoxicating. In one of his better baked moments, TCB made the connection between life and pot. Depending upon the quality of one's life it could also move in fits and starts leaving one disappointed. Or it could be smooth and wondrously fun. When it came to the quality of his pot, TCB just found a better dealer. Which, not so strangely enough, was what he did when it came to the quality of his life.
How would you describe the quality of your life?
What do you do when life isn’t going as you planned?
If it’s not going as you like, what can you do to get it moving in the right direction?

Dying to Live

“Live until you die.”
The Chemical Buddha noticed some people seemed to be worn out and mentally close minded while they were still fairly young, TCB was all about enjoying life. In fact, he was pretty sure life was the only thing worth living. Today’s insight was inspired by a friend’s dog: Buster, who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But when The Chemical Buddha saw the dog, Buster still acted as he had always acted. The news of his impending death didn’t stop him from sniffing people’s butts, licking his balls or playing catch. And, according to his friend, that’s what Buster did right up until the time he passed away. The Chemical Buddha thought more people should be like dogs. Besides, The Chemical Buddha thought it would be nice if he could lick his own balls.
Are you open to new ideas or do you find yourself clinging to what you’ve always done?
How does ‘bad’ news affect you? Do you dwell on it or get on with your life?

Best. Drug. Ever.

“O.D. on pure awareness.”
The only time The Chemical Buddha had a drug overdose was the moment right before he died. But because TCB, along with other Buddhists, believed everything happened in our awareness, he likened enlightenment to an overdose of 100% pure awareness. And to partake in pure awareness was the best high imaginable. Although, like any pure drug, the high was hard to maintain so you would eventually come down. Because humans weren’t meant to take in that much juice. If they were, they wouldn’t be human, they’d be gods (or The Chemical Buddha).
How much are you aware of in your life? Are you aware of the impact you have on others (both good and bad)?
How much of your life do you not participate in? Are you aware of the impact it has on others?

Balance Sheet

“We're all just entries on someone's profit and loss report.”
The Chemical Buddha could become quite cynical when he thought about big business and how everything was just about money. This usually came to a head whenever he got calls/letters from creditors trying to collect on all the money he owed them. He would scream into the phone, ‘I’m more than a number you fuck head!’ But he also realized big business looked at people as potential customers and, therefore, as potential profit centers. And that big business didn’t care if you lived or died, as long as you bought a bunch of their shit while you were alive. Oh, and hopefully created some more future consumers while you were here. Although you might call them children (or someone to put you in the an old age home and sell all of your stuff off and skip town with all of your money).
How do you see people in your life? As living things or as someone who can do something for you?
How do you think other people see you?
Do you get more out of the stuff you own or experiences you have?