"How come when my girlfriend doesn’t want to fuck me, she doesn’t want me to fuck anyone else either?"
There was a very brief moment in time when The Chemical Buddha was actually paired up with someone. (Like most of TCB's interactions, his appetites doomed their relationship.) But out of it, came today's insight. The Chemical Buddha was never able to resolve the conflict of what to do when you want something but the other person doesn't want to give it to you. At this same time, The Chemical Buddha also discovered there were laws against taking what you want from someone. Really, really harsh laws. Today's insight only heightened TCB's interest in hookers. It's rumored he had a 'relationship' with several. But we're sure it was strictly monetary.
How do you react when people don't give you what you want?
How do you feel not giving people what they want?
Is it OK for other people to tell you 'no'? Is it OK for you to tell people 'no'?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Karma Kash
"Salvation doesn't come cheap. Which is why I offer payment plans."
Everyone always talks about wanting to be saved. They seemed worried about what was after this life and concerned that their actions here might have an impact on whatever comes next. The Chemical Buddha thought everyone should put their energy into living a life where they didn't have to worry about 'heaven' or the 'afterlife'. TCB's plan was to deal with life as it happened. No need to worry about the end. You might miss what's happening now. Of course, none of that prevented him from taking advantage of people's fear and charging them for salvation. Or, as he called it, 'possible salvation'. That way, if there was an afterlife people couldn't be too pissed at him for not reading the fine print of his offer.
Are you proud of the life you lead?
What secrets from your past do you worry about people uncovering?
How much time do you spend thinking about the past and the future?
How much time to you spend thinking about the present?
Everyone always talks about wanting to be saved. They seemed worried about what was after this life and concerned that their actions here might have an impact on whatever comes next. The Chemical Buddha thought everyone should put their energy into living a life where they didn't have to worry about 'heaven' or the 'afterlife'. TCB's plan was to deal with life as it happened. No need to worry about the end. You might miss what's happening now. Of course, none of that prevented him from taking advantage of people's fear and charging them for salvation. Or, as he called it, 'possible salvation'. That way, if there was an afterlife people couldn't be too pissed at him for not reading the fine print of his offer.
Are you proud of the life you lead?
What secrets from your past do you worry about people uncovering?
How much time do you spend thinking about the past and the future?
How much time to you spend thinking about the present?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
This Bud's For You
"You can’t spell Buddha without 'bud'."
It’s hard to describe how excited The Chemical Buddha was when he came to this realization. It was as if the universe was confirming he was on the right path. For a brief period of time he started calling him self The Chemical Bud-ha. But everyone just thought he had a speech impediment and made fun of him. So he resorted to just telling this insight to everyone. He even went so far as to put it on his business cards. (Which he mostly put in fishbowls at restaurants to try and win a free meal. But he couldn't even manage to do that. Even if his card was the only one in the fish bowl.) There are no known reports on what he thought the universe was trying to tell him when that happened.
Do you believe in destiny?
If so, do you try to find things to justify what happened or what you did?
How do you think you got to where you are in your life?
Was it by accident? Was it planned? Or was it some combination of both?
It’s hard to describe how excited The Chemical Buddha was when he came to this realization. It was as if the universe was confirming he was on the right path. For a brief period of time he started calling him self The Chemical Bud-ha. But everyone just thought he had a speech impediment and made fun of him. So he resorted to just telling this insight to everyone. He even went so far as to put it on his business cards. (Which he mostly put in fishbowls at restaurants to try and win a free meal. But he couldn't even manage to do that. Even if his card was the only one in the fish bowl.) There are no known reports on what he thought the universe was trying to tell him when that happened.
Do you believe in destiny?
If so, do you try to find things to justify what happened or what you did?
How do you think you got to where you are in your life?
Was it by accident? Was it planned? Or was it some combination of both?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
VHS or Betamax?
"Porn is foreplay."
It didn't take much to give The Chemical Buddha the urge to merge (as he liked to call it). A stiff breeze. The hint of a panty line. Graphic shots of penetration. A deep breath. The smell of bacon. While he knew what turned his crank he had no idea what put other people in the mood. Of course, he did have some success with getting them drunk to the point of unconsciousness. His fallback, with no documented successes to encourage him, was porn. Whether it was images, figurines, stick figures or video. He would leave it around hoping someone would get turned on and want to fuck him. But believe it or not, there were plenty of people who would get turned on, but not all of them had any desire to have sex with TCB. Which would ultimately lead him back to the insight from July 27th.
How often do you do things you don't want to do?
How often do you ask other people to do things they don't want to do?
What puts you in the mood?
It didn't take much to give The Chemical Buddha the urge to merge (as he liked to call it). A stiff breeze. The hint of a panty line. Graphic shots of penetration. A deep breath. The smell of bacon. While he knew what turned his crank he had no idea what put other people in the mood. Of course, he did have some success with getting them drunk to the point of unconsciousness. His fallback, with no documented successes to encourage him, was porn. Whether it was images, figurines, stick figures or video. He would leave it around hoping someone would get turned on and want to fuck him. But believe it or not, there were plenty of people who would get turned on, but not all of them had any desire to have sex with TCB. Which would ultimately lead him back to the insight from July 27th.
How often do you do things you don't want to do?
How often do you ask other people to do things they don't want to do?
What puts you in the mood?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Choices
"Meditate or masturbate?"
Today's insight was part of the eternal question. Or, at least it was part of The Chemical Buddha's eternal question. Once he discovered the peace and serenity masturbation gave him, he no longer asked the question. Plus, he could do it all by himself. No more rejection or the expense of getting someone else drunk/high. Really, TCB wasn't sure why anyone would choose meditation over masturbation. Of course he wasn't sure why people choose a lot of the things they did. He assumed it was because it made them happy or gave them some sense of comfort.
Do you 'like' having people around or do you 'need' to have people around you?
What 'bad' choices do you make over and over?
What do you get out of these 'bad' choices?
Today's insight was part of the eternal question. Or, at least it was part of The Chemical Buddha's eternal question. Once he discovered the peace and serenity masturbation gave him, he no longer asked the question. Plus, he could do it all by himself. No more rejection or the expense of getting someone else drunk/high. Really, TCB wasn't sure why anyone would choose meditation over masturbation. Of course he wasn't sure why people choose a lot of the things they did. He assumed it was because it made them happy or gave them some sense of comfort.
Do you 'like' having people around or do you 'need' to have people around you?
What 'bad' choices do you make over and over?
What do you get out of these 'bad' choices?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Like a Rolling Stone
"The hunger for your true self comes with a serious case of the munchies."
Contrary to popular belief, The Chemical Buddha wasn't always overweight. In fact, he was once quite trim. That was before he started smoking a lot of pot and drinking a lot of beer searching for his inner seeker. His journey also set him on a quest to try every type of junk food. He especially liked mixing his sugary snacks with his salty snacks. Today's research shows that you eat more when you alternate between the two. But if you eat just one, you'll eventually satisfy that part of your brain and stop eating. However, The Chemical Buddha was constantly looking for satisfaction. Or, as The Stones said, "I can’t get no satisfaction." The Chemical Buddha was pretty sure they wrote the song about him. Even though it was written 15 years before he was born. He believed it foretold of his coming. He saw The Stones as prophets.
How easy are you to satisfy? Or are you always looking for something better?
Do you alternate between things that seem like opposites? If so, how does that work in your life?
Contrary to popular belief, The Chemical Buddha wasn't always overweight. In fact, he was once quite trim. That was before he started smoking a lot of pot and drinking a lot of beer searching for his inner seeker. His journey also set him on a quest to try every type of junk food. He especially liked mixing his sugary snacks with his salty snacks. Today's research shows that you eat more when you alternate between the two. But if you eat just one, you'll eventually satisfy that part of your brain and stop eating. However, The Chemical Buddha was constantly looking for satisfaction. Or, as The Stones said, "I can’t get no satisfaction." The Chemical Buddha was pretty sure they wrote the song about him. Even though it was written 15 years before he was born. He believed it foretold of his coming. He saw The Stones as prophets.
How easy are you to satisfy? Or are you always looking for something better?
Do you alternate between things that seem like opposites? If so, how does that work in your life?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Offensive
"Sex is best left to the professionals."
A few earlier insights delve into how The Chemical Buddha felt about girls who were in the flesh trade. So it should come as no surprise that he thought they were well worth the money. Few complaints. No commitments. And they would do whatever he wanted them to do. Although you know you've accomplished something when you can offend a hooker. And believe us, there were a few times The Chemical Buddha managed to pull off that feat. Of course, it might have just been he couldn't come up with enough money to make it worth their time. Even hookers are unwilling to do some jobs if the money isn't right. The same can't be said for everyone.
Are you easily offended or hard to offend?
What typically sets you off?
How often do you offend people? What do you risk by offending people more (or less)?
A few earlier insights delve into how The Chemical Buddha felt about girls who were in the flesh trade. So it should come as no surprise that he thought they were well worth the money. Few complaints. No commitments. And they would do whatever he wanted them to do. Although you know you've accomplished something when you can offend a hooker. And believe us, there were a few times The Chemical Buddha managed to pull off that feat. Of course, it might have just been he couldn't come up with enough money to make it worth their time. Even hookers are unwilling to do some jobs if the money isn't right. The same can't be said for everyone.
Are you easily offended or hard to offend?
What typically sets you off?
How often do you offend people? What do you risk by offending people more (or less)?
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