I Don't Believe in Karma

"Bad Karma is when the cops find half a joint in your car's ashtray."
As shown on the September 1st insight, the universe/Karma can give. But what the universe gives, it can also take away. Sometimes, it can even take away in handcuffs. Back before pot wasn’t that big of a deal, The Chemical Buddha was pulled over for a routine traffic stop for driving on the sidewalk. The attending officer took one look at The Chemical Buddha's bloodshot eyes and decided to search his car where he found half a joint and someone to put in the back of his police car. The Chemical Buddha chalked this up to being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And it was the universe/Karma's way of telling him he should have been someplace else.
What is waiting in your life to trip you up?
(Again, if you know the answer, you know what it is.)
What are you getting back from the universe?
(That might help you figure out what you're putting out into the universe.)

I Believe in Karma

"Good Karma is when you find half a joint in your car's ashtray."
Some call it luck. Some call it Karma. The Buddhist belief of Karma is based on the idea that you get back from the universe what you put out. In the case of today's insight, when The Chemical Buddha found half a join in his ashtray, he assumed it was because the universe was paying him back for all the good work he was doing to promote enlightenment. In fact, he created an entire story around that one event that explained his entire life to bring him to this one moment where he would find half a joint just when he needed one most. Words cannot explain the elation he felt.
What hidden benefits are out there in your life?
(If you know the answer to this one, then it's not hidden is it?)
What are you putting out in the universe and what are you getting back?
What do you want to put out and what do you want to get back?

This Bud's For You

"You can’t spell Buddha without 'bud'."
It’s hard to describe how excited The Chemical Buddha was when he came to this realization. It was as if the universe was confirming he was on the right path. For a brief period of time he started calling him self The Chemical Bud-ha. But everyone just thought he had a speech impediment and made fun of him. So he resorted to just telling this insight to everyone. He even went so far as to put it on his business cards. (Which he mostly put in fishbowls at restaurants to try and win a free meal. But he couldn't even manage to do that. Even if his card was the only one in the fish bowl.) There are no known reports on what he thought the universe was trying to tell him when that happened.
Do you believe in destiny?
If so, do you try to find things to justify what happened or what you did?
How do you think you got to where you are in your life?
Was it by accident? Was it planned? Or was it some combination of both?

Like a Rolling Stone

"The hunger for your true self comes with a serious case of the munchies."
Contrary to popular belief, The Chemical Buddha wasn't always overweight. In fact, he was once quite trim. That was before he started smoking a lot of pot and drinking a lot of beer searching for his inner seeker. His journey also set him on a quest to try every type of junk food. He especially liked mixing his sugary snacks with his salty snacks. Today's research shows that you eat more when you alternate between the two. But if you eat just one, you'll eventually satisfy that part of your brain and stop eating. However, The Chemical Buddha was constantly looking for satisfaction. Or, as The Stones said, "I can’t get no satisfaction." The Chemical Buddha was pretty sure they wrote the song about him. Even though it was written 15 years before he was born. He believed it foretold of his coming. He saw The Stones as prophets.
How easy are you to satisfy? Or are you always looking for something better?
Do you alternate between things that seem like opposites? If so, how does that work in your life?

Inhale Deeply. Hold. Exhale. Fly.

"Life is like pot smoke. It can make you cough and choke or it can make you high."
The Chemical Buddha was known to partake in some of the 'herb' from time to time. (And by time to time we mean every waking moment.) But he noticed his enjoyment of cannabis (as it was known in Latin circles) depended on the quality. Some of it made him choke and cough incessantly. While other times his experience was smooth and instantly intoxicating. In one of his better baked moments, TCB made the connection between life and pot. Depending upon the quality of one's life it could also move in fits and starts leaving one disappointed. Or it could be smooth and wondrously fun. When it came to the quality of his pot, TCB just found a better dealer. Which, not so strangely enough, was what he did when it came to the quality of his life.
How would you describe the quality of your life?
What do you do when life isn’t going as you planned?
If it’s not going as you like, what can you do to get it moving in the right direction?

Sort my Shit

“It takes 3 times as much energy to get rid of something as it does to buy it.”
The Chemical Buddha was a bit of a pack rat. He was always holding on to stuff because he thought he might need it someday. Then, he’d have so much shit he couldn’t find what he needed, so he’d go out and buy another one. Which meant he ended up with two or three. Of course, he never had multiple cases of beer or pounds of pot. That stuff was consumed as it was bought. Through this process, The Chemical Buddha realized how much energy it took to sort through, organize, and decide what shit to get rid of. He found that what took seconds to buy took minutes, hours, days, even weeks to get rid of. Luckily, he was always being evicted from his apartment and all of his shit was either thrown out on the street with him or trashed. Making the sorting job someone else’s problem.
What is your relationship with stuff? Do you have too much? Too little?
Why do you hang onto what you have?
How much time do you spend deciding what to get rid of?
How might your life be easier with less?

The Future is Never Now

“Today is the compost of tomorrow.”
The Chemical Buddha believed in recycling and composting. And, as a Buddhist, he did believe in Karma, as long as it fit his needs. So based on those two lines of thought, if everything he did the day before was the compost/fertilizer of today, then the more shit that happened in the past, the more the current day had to grow out of. Although TCB never gardened, he did know enough from pot cultivation that you had to till the ground, fertilize it, plant seeds and give it water and light or you wouldn’t have anything to smoke. He also knew that a little bit of foreplay was required (or lube) or he’d get friction burns. To his thinking, everything had an order it needed to happen in. You can’t get to tomorrow without going through today. As much as The Chemical Buddha wanted to get to the future, he still had to drink the beer to get drunk. He couldn’t just be drunk.
How much of your life do you spend planning for the future? How much of the now do you miss with your planning?
Do you believe in a natural order of things or do you try to jump ahead? What's the impact on you?

Just Do Me

“Life is just the stuff, and people, you do before you die.”
People would always ask The Chemical Buddha what life was about. Why were we here? What was the meaning to life? TCB invested several joints and cases of beer trying to figure this question out. After several sleepless nights, he realized the answer to the question was very simple and said today’s insight. The Chemical Buddha went on to explain that he thought people were the ones who took simple things and made them complex. And adding complexity to any situation was the easiest thing in the world to do. All you had to do was pile more shit on. Keeping things simple was the hardest thing to do because that meant letting go of beliefs and thoughts to get down to the essence of any situation.
What types of situations do you make more complex than they need to be?
What would have to change for you to keep things simple?

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

“I used to smoke a lot of pot, until I tried meth.”
The Chemical Buddha was a man of many addictions and contradictions. We found he obsessed on all sorts of things until he found something else to distract him. And this process was repeated ad nauseam. This insight comes from the smoking phase of TCB’s life. Which, truth be told, he never really left because if he could fit it in a bong or a glass pipe, he smoked it. He found couch cushions provided the weirdest buzz. What today’s insight speaks to most is The Chemical Buddha’s lack of commitment to anything. His inability to fully invest himself in something outside of his selfish pursuits. Although he did fully invest in himself and loved himself without question.
What’s the longest commitment you’ve ever made in your life?
What keeps you from fully committing to more in your life?

Technicolor Yawn

“Waking up in your own puke gives you a different perspective.”
After one night of historically heavy drinking, The Chemical Buddha spent the rest of the night throwing up all over everything and everyone. (Not that he remembered any of it.) When he awoke, his mouth tasted like a zoo full of monkeys took a shit in it. And it smelled like it too. The Chemical Buddha claimed waking up in his own puke was a necessary step on his path. First, he realized eating was a waste of time. It killed his buzz and he’d just end up puking it up. So he stopped eating. Second, smoking pot didn’t make him puke but gave him the same feeling. From this point forward, he decided to only drink alcohol when he ran out of pot or couldn’t afford it.
What are some life changing events you’ve gone through?
How and why did it change how you lived?

Last Dance with Mary Jane

“Pot: smokeable amnesia.”
When The Chemical Buddha was smoking pot he couldn’t remember what he’d just said let alone what he was going to do or what he had been doing. To him, pot was the perfect way to release all attachments to the past. Another benefit is it helped him enjoy every little moment of life. Like the taste, texture and colors of the world around him. And everything he ate was ‘the best ever!’ Of course smoking weed also helped him loose all attachment to getting shit done. Along with any motivation for being successful. So while it was a mixed bag of benefits, The Chemical Buddha thought the positives far outweighed the negatives. But labels like ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ always depended upon your perspective. And what end of the bong you were on.
What do you need to forget?
How would you benefit from slowing down and taking in what the world has to offer?

Honk! Honk!

“If they didn’t want you to drive on the sidewalks, they wouldn’t pave them.”
Before The Chemical Buddha lost his driver’s license, one of his life philosophies was if it was paved, you could drive on it. We’re pretty sure it was this thinking that lead to his losing his, as the judge put it, ‘privilege to drive’. But The Chemical Buddha was all about pushing the rules as far as he could. Maybe it was because his parents’ rules were always changing. One day it wasn’t OK to smoke pot, the next it was OK as long as he did it his bedroom. Until finally, he could smoke pot in the living room as long as he kept his pants on. Eventually, they even gave up on that. So he learned it was possible to push and get away with stuff. Of course, he also found the court of law wasn’t that forgiving. No matter how much he whined about it. The rules actually did apply to him too. Unless he was super rich.
Where in your life do you push your boundaries?
Do you try to whine and weasel your away around people’s boundaries or do you respect them and work within them? What are the results of that?

More is More

“Less is truly more only after years of smoking pot.”
Every spiritual teacher will tell you less is more. The Chemical Buddha suspected that was because they wanted you to have less so they could have more. But the only way less is truly more is by smoking pot. Pot is the only drug reported to have a reverse tolerance. You actually need less of it to get high, as opposed to other drugs which you constantly have to up the dosage for the same result. (Personally, The Chemical Buddha was too fucked up to remember how much pot he needed to get that way. Let alone if he needed less over time.) Most hard core drug users are trying to get back to their first high, which can never be done because there will never be another first time. The same can be said for material possessions, money, square footage, etc. People are always chasing that feeling of the first time and therefore want more, more, more.
What can you not seem to get enough of?
How might having less actually help you appreciate it more and make you life more manageable?

Drink in the Enligtenment

"I thought I was enlightened. Then I sobered up."
The Chemical Buddha thought he was a lot of things while he was drunk: smart, funny, attractive, bulletproof and enlightened. (A crude definition of enlightenment is to know.) Once he reached enlightenment he knew he was none of these things. But he also became aware that other drunk people thought he was all of these things. Especially right before they passed out. So he turned his attention to learning how to keep people drunk enough to think he was awesome, but sober enough to keep them from blacking out. It was then that he turned his studies away from alcohol and more towards the hallucinogenic and cannabis realms. These seemed to offer the best combination for him and his followers.
Does who you think you are and who other people think you are match?
What would have to change for those to match?

Passion of the Buddha

"Happily letting my life go to pot. (And other drugs.)"
The Chemical Buddha never understood why people would tell him his life was going to pot with such disdain. The idea of a pot filled life didn't bother him at all. In fact, he took it as a compliment. Besides, what was he supposed to do? Let his life go to work? Let his life go to buying a bunch of crap he didn't need? Let his life go to judging other people and trying to make himself look better than them? Now that seemed like a waste of time. Pot seemed to be a lot better than all of those options. Personally, The Chemical Buddha didn't care what his followers let their lives go to. As long at they cared about whatever 'it' was and followed it with a passion. Because to him, a life without caring and love might as well be called death.
What are you passionate about? How often do you follow your passion?
What one thing are you willing to give your life to?