Get Drunk. Stay Drunk.

"You'll never have a hangover if you don't sober up."
Buddhists see life as suffering and meditation as a way to relieve/release suffering. As you might expect, The Chemical Buddha's approach was different. He was in favor of avoiding any and all pain as often as possible. He taught that emotional, physical and spiritual pain could all be avoided indefinitely with the right cocktail of chemicals. Of course, there are other physical costs. Not to mention the eventual tolerance to anything you're taking, and the withdrawals and cravings. But to The Chemical Buddha that just meant the student hadn't reached enlightenment yet. He always did have an answer for everything.
What causes you pain in your life?
What do you do to avoid it?
How does avoiding it work? Does it make the pain go away?

Soul Fire

"While the fire within may burn brightly, a match works better for lighting a one-hitter."
Central to The Chemical Buddha's belief system was the thought that we were all enlightened. Most of us just needed some outside help. (Or just needed to ingest some outside help.) While TCB was often criticized for not following the teachings learned over thousands of years of meditative practice, nothing could be further from the truth. He just thought he could add his own twist to boost everyone's consciousness. He saw his charge as evolving meditation and Buddhism. Since the beginning of time everything has changed. His brand of Bud-dhism seemed like the next step combining what Buddha started 2,500 years ago that the hippies tweaked in the late 1960s. If he got laid and was able to cash in along the way, all the better.
How have you changed during your life?
How have you stayed the same?
Are you the person you want to be?
What needs to change in your life to become that person?

Enlighten This

"The truly unenlightened are always willing to tell you how enlightened they are."
The Chemical Buddha found people were always happy to tell him where he'd fucked up his life. And how much better they were than him. But what he also discovered was these very same people were often just as fucked up as he was. If not more. It was during this time he learned to trust his own counsel more. He also learned to consider the context of the person giving the advice. TCB knew everyone had their own problems to deal with. Said another way, he found no one's life was as perfect as it seemed. However, this didn't stop him from seeking the advice of others. He just didn't feel as compelled to follow it.
How do you let other's opinions of you influence your thought process?
What would happen if you trusted your own instincts and did what you thought was best? How would your life be different?

The Gift of Life

"Life is a gift most of us treat like we don't want."
Believe it or not, there was a time before The Chemical Buddha attained enlightenment. During that period of his life, TCB spent most of his time complaining about life. (He would later learn to enjoy the bounty of flesh, drugs, and raucous good times that were available to him.) During this time he was known to sulk and deeply sigh. But eventually, like most spiritual teachers, he experienced an awakening and saw life as the gift it was. However, it wasn't a near-death experience but rather when he ate some cold French fries he found in the bottom of his car while he was high. He claimed they were the best fries ever! From that moment forward he took it upon himself to wear his life out. To fully experience the gift he had been given.
What are you treating like you don't want?
What changes do you need to make to get the absolute most out of what you've been given?

Candy Man

"The journey to Nirvana weaves in and out of rehab."
Before you head out on your journey of enlightenment through pharmaceuticals, you should know it is a difficult path. You, much like The Chemical Buddha, may doubt your path and decide you're tired of sleeping outside, having sex with strangers to score drugs, not bathing, and alienating everyone who ever came into contact with you. It's during those dark times, you might decide to get your shit together by going to rehab and cleaning up. Whatever your personal journey, The Chemical Buddha found his wove in and out of various detox centers. Fortunately for all of us, he was committed to his path and found everything he needed to eventually find Nirvana.
Are you committed to your path?
What do you try to distract yourself with from your true path?
And what do you need to do to stay on it?

Wake Up?

"I regain consciousness almost daily."
If the goal of enlightenment to gain total consciousness of all actions and to do everything with a purpose and reason, then The Chemical Buddha rationalized that those among us who regain consciousness daily were truly the most enlightened. Unfortunately, no matter how hard The Chemical Buddha tried to apply this logic, he was only able to regain consciousness almost daily. That was because his blackouts would stretch for days and weeks. But he took solace in the fact that he was totally conscious of his unconsciousness and figured that made him just as enlightened as those who were conscious of everything.
Where in your life are you asleep?
What do you not want to know about?
What do you need to wake up to you in life?
What do you need to be conscious of today?

I Believe in Karma

"Good Karma is when you find half a joint in your car's ashtray."
Some call it luck. Some call it Karma. The Buddhist belief of Karma is based on the idea that you get back from the universe what you put out. In the case of today's insight, when The Chemical Buddha found half a join in his ashtray, he assumed it was because the universe was paying him back for all the good work he was doing to promote enlightenment. In fact, he created an entire story around that one event that explained his entire life to bring him to this one moment where he would find half a joint just when he needed one most. Words cannot explain the elation he felt.
What hidden benefits are out there in your life?
(If you know the answer to this one, then it's not hidden is it?)
What are you putting out in the universe and what are you getting back?
What do you want to put out and what do you want to get back?

Ever Fucked a Buddha?

"I’m just into enlightenment for the chicks."
The Chemical Buddha didn't believe people were ever completely selfless. There was always a reason for everything they did. They donated money to show people they were rich or to feel good about themselves. Men opened doors for women so they could look as their ass when they walked by. There was always a motive. And he was no exception. While he initially got into enlightenment for the selfish reason of becoming enlightened, he eventually came to think he could also get laid out of the deal (not to mention free drugs and junk food). Did he get more pussy, drugs and Twinkies then he would have if he hadn't been an enlightened being? Luckily, we'll never know because he chose to think only of himself and walk the path to enlightenment.
Why do you do what you do?
What do you get out of it?
If you were honest with yourself, what is the real reason you do what you do?

High There

"High on pure ego."
The Chemical Buddha felt the best during those brief moments when he actually loved himself. He felt better than he could on any type of drug. Don't get us wrong. He felt really, really good when he was high/drunk but when he was mainlining pure ego, everything just seemed to flow. People loved him and he loved himself. I think it's safe to say, judging by his behavior; The Chemical Buddha didn't feel good about himself very often. Because, when that happened he would try and prop his fragile ego up by buying shit he couldn't afford, eating when he wasn't really hungry and doing drugs pretty much every waking moment of his life. In fact, we're sure if he had been more of an egomaniac he probably wouldn't have been The Chemical Buddha we know and love.
When do you feel 'good' about yourself?
When do you feel 'bad' about yourself?
What do you do to try and prolong feeling 'good'?
What do you do to try and not feel 'bad'?

Truly Truly

"Those unwilling to turn tricks for drug money are unwilling to experience their true self."
Part of each person's path is what they're willing to do to get what they want. The Chemical Buddha saw how some people were only willing to go after things that were easy. Typically, those people ended up living shallow, uninvolved lives filled with mortgage payments and soulless jobs. TCB believed those who were willing to follow their path into dark alleys and urine soaked bathrooms, would one day look in the mirror and not know who they were. It was then the first crack of dealing with harsh reality would bring about a truth unlike anything they had ever experienced. And point them towards their true nature and their true path. But The Chemical Buddha was really high at the time he said this, so who knows if it's actually true or not.
Do you feel in touch with reality?
What is your true nature?
Who do you think you really are?
What about yourself have you faced and what did you learn in that confrontation?

If it Weren't for Bad Luck...

"The path to enlightenment includes several bad trips."
Like a lot of spiritual teachers before him, while The Chemical Buddha walked his path to enlightenment, he encountered some pitfalls. (That was mainly because he took some stuff that didn't agree with him.) And because of that he was unable to keep up with his enlightenment regimen. By our estimation, that means The Chemical Buddha attained enlightenment, 3 days, 5 hours, 56 minutes and 3 seconds later than he would have without wasting time on bad trips. Of course, there's no telling how many insights we wouldn't have gotten if he didn't wander off his path. So his loss was ultimately, our gain.
Do you see life as a series of problems or chances to learn?
Do you think things happen for a reason or happen at random?
What big lessons have your learned form things that seems like accidents/'bad' luck while it was going on?

Surprise me! (Just Kidding.)

“Forget enlightenment, it's better to be unaware of how fucked up the world is.”
Once The Chemical Buddha became aware of all that is, he realized just how unjust and fucked up the world was. He learned there were people who got laid way more than he did. That had free and easy access to drugs. And, even more fucked up, that there were actually people who didn’t want to have sex or do drugs. Which literally caused him to have a heart attack. (His second one ever.) Once he learned all of this, he couldn’t get it out of his mind. Like trying to stuff a vacuum packed sleeping bag back into it’s original wrapper, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it to fit without ripping something.
What things have you learned that have changed the way you see the world?
What would you have rather not learned? Why do you regret learning it? How did you react?
Do you like to know everything or be surprised? What’s the impact on you?

Experienced

“I slept my way to the top of the enlightenment ladder.”
There were those gurus who thought The Chemical Buddha didn’t deserve to be called enlightened. They thought he had taken short cuts to get to where he was. By the way, TCB never denied those claims. In fact, he said enlightenment was easy to attain because feelings of oneness were all around us and all of us could partake in them whenever we choose. The Chemical Buddha believed we were the only ones who could separate ourselves from oneness. Oneness was always open and available to being experienced. In the words of the immortal Jimi Hendrix, ‘Have you ever been experienced?’ TCB saw the gateways of drugs, food and sex as just some of the ways to experience the peak that could give you a taste of being all of everything that is.
How do you keep yourself a part from others? What is the cost to you? What is the benefit?
If you see life as a choice, how did your choices get you to where you are now?

Put This in Your Bong

“I do not promote enlightenment through Buddhism. I promote enlightenment through Bud-ism.”
Because The Chemical Buddha was a Buddha, people often thought he practiced Buddhism. But nothing could be farther from the truth. TCB focused on the chemical part of his name. While the Buddha’s teaching transformed the unenlightened into the enlightened, The Chemical Buddha preferred to focus on the transformation chemicals could make on one’s life. Mainly because it was a hell of a lot easier than the work of clearing one’s mind of thought with meditation. Anyone who has tried drugs could tell you that any street drug worth a damn would do the same thing. And you could buy drugs in any American town. But there wasn’t a Buddhist temple in every city in America. Not even close. Plus it was a lot easier to get rednecks to smoke pot than it was to meditate. In fact, The Chemical Buddha was surprised the Buddha hadn’t already thought of the whole drug angle. Guess he wasn’t that enlightened after all huh?
Where in your life do you take short cuts/compromise?
How does compromising what you want affect you?
How does not compromising affect you?

Back to the Future

“Too many people worry about what's next instead of what's now.”
The Chemical Buddha was all about the now. Except when he was looking forward to his next high or lay. Which was pretty much all the time. But we digress. He found people worried about what was going to happen next and missed what was happening now. Before someone even had a moment to enjoy the bite of food they were eating, they were already taking the next bite. He thought this was because the brain was all about looking for the 'what’s next.' While the body was about enjoying the what’s now. TCB found being stoned slowed his brain down enough for him to enjoy what’s now. He had heard that other's used meditation to do the same thing.
Do you live your life in the past, present or future?
Where would you prefer to live you life? What would it take for you to do it?

Nobody Knows

“If you think you’re one in a million, there are eight of you in New York.”
The Chemical Buddha realized we were all unique. We all have a combination of special talents, skills and personality quirks that are unlike anyone else’s. Although it seemed to him some people tried to purposely stake out ground that made them unlike anyone else. But to him, it stood to reason that with all of the people on the planet there wasn’t anyone who had something that was so unique that absolutely no one else had it. And he was determined to find those people who mixed sex, drugs, and overeating as a spiritual path and mold them into his ‘army of awakened ones.’ Because, while lots of people liked the allure of excess to enlightenment, few of them could actually undergo the rigorous training. Believe it or not, partying until 4 am and sleeping until 2 in the afternoon wasn’t as easy as it looked. But then, you probably wouldn’t understand that because if you did, you would already know that and would have no need to read this.
What do you think makes you unique?
Where in your life do you feel that no one else would understand your life? How does that keep you isolated, alone and wallowing in your own problems? Do you truly believe no one understands or is that just what you tell yourself.

Come In

“We often come for different reasons than we leave.”
The Chemical Buddha believed life was a lot like sex. And more than sex eventually leading to the creation of life. He thought the reasons we were born were usually different from the reasons we die. For instance, TCB was born to spread the enlightenment through pharmaceuticals gospel and enlighten people to a bigger world. (At the time of this insight, he had no idea how he would leave this earthly plain, and it turns out he left it doing the things he was born to do. But we’re sure this is just the exception that proves the rule.) Just like the reasons we have sex with a person (to come) is different then the reason we leave (she’s sobering up, her husband came home, etc.)
Why are you here?
What are the things in life that cause you to leave and/or give up?

Question Nothing

“Organized religion is like a spiritual comb-over. Just do what everyone else does and you’ll still look spiritual.”
The Chemical Buddha loved all forms of religious dogma and tried to incorporate as much of it as possible into his enlightenment through pharmaceuticals movement. Just for the record, he saw dogma as doing things without understanding the reasons for doing them. He counted on people being cattle like that and not questioning the concepts he put forward. And, for the most part, it worked. People were happy to share their money, drugs, and significant others with TCB. Especially when he countered any of their arguments that pain was a great teacher and the human condition was suffering. So by dialing up his students suffering he was speeding up their learning and cutting down the time it would take them to reach enlightenment. But to be honest, he didn’t have to give the reasons behind his teachings very often.
What do you do without thinking about the reasons behind it?
What do you do in your life that causes you pain?

Fuel Injection

“Inject a new reality.”
The Chemical Buddha was deathly afraid of needles. And if he were still around to ask, we’re sure he would say it was the needles that killed him and not the heroin. But that takes us away from the lesson of today’s insight. What TCB would want you to take away from this is how he overcame his fear of needles. And by walking through that which terrified him, he was able to experience things he never dreamed imaginable. In fact, he might have never been able to attain the level of enlightenment he eventually reached. Therefore, he would not have become the TCB we all know, love and follow today. Of course, The Chemical Buddha was already really stoned when he first had someone inject him and he squealed like a baby pig, but that’s another story.
What are you afraid to do?
Is it possible you may find something worthwhile on the other side of that fear? Maybe places you never dreamed imaginable?

Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich

“I am the Elvis of Enlightenment.”
The Chemical Buddha became obsessed with The King of Rock and Roll. Not necessarily with his music, but with his lifestyle of excess. He also loved how people forgave Elvis for his excesses. So The Chemical Buddha thought he would take a short cut and just start calling himself the ‘Elvis of Enlightenment.’ He thought that gave people a title they could easily relate to. Of course, he found people expected him to sing or, at the very least, have some sort of sex appeal. And they were pretty disappointed (almost angry) when they found out that not only could TCB not sing, but he didn’t even know any of Elvis' songs.
If you could give yourself a nickname what would it be and why?
In your life, who’s expectations are you trying to meet? Yours or someone else’s?