Lie to Me

"If someone cares enough about me to fake their orgasm, I'm OK with that."
Men that The Chemical Buddha knew spent their early sexual lives worrying if they were satisfying their partners. And then worked hard to figure out what it would take to make them happy in bed. It's well documented that TCB didn't share their concerns. He didn't wonder if his lover's orgasm was 'real' or not. There was so much more to worry about. Like his own orgasm. And when it came right down to it, if someone cared enough to not hurt his feelings by pretending they felt something (anything) then that to him was the sincerest from of love possible. Because only those that truly loved him would be concerned about his pleasure and his feelings.
Do you lie to avoid hurting people's feelings?
How do you feel when people are critical of you? Would you rather have the truth or feel good about yourself (assuming both aren't always possible)?

Faking it

"I have never faked an orgasm."
Hopefully, if you've learned anything about The Chemical Buddha it's that he was true to himself. So he never did anything (or anyone) he didn't want to do. So it was pretty safe to assume that if TCB did anything it was because he wanted to. This also meant he was a horrible liar and poker player because everyone could always tell what he was thinking. Unless he was unconscious. Then he was an awesome liar. Because of his total self-honesty, he never ever faked an orgasm. (Except for that one time when a girl he was fucking told him to pull out because she wasn't on the pill. He, of course, had already came, so he pulled out and pretended to come on her stomach.) Of course, he did believe that if someone cared enough to fake an orgasm with him, they must really care. Or think his self-esteem was too fragile to handle the truth. Truth be told, it didn't matter to him what the reason was.
Do you think other people are truthful to you?
Are you truthful with other people?
What parts of your life are you faking your way through?
Where do you need to be more true to yourself?

And the Answer is …?

"Just confirm what I already believe."
Throughout history, mankind has had questions about life and formed beliefs around the answer to those questions. Like everyone else, The Chemical Buddha had his own questions. And as he sought answers, he discovered he got angry when people disagreed with what he already thought or told him something he didn't want to hear/know. And the same could be said when he answered other people's questions. TCB found the truth had very little to do with perception and if you ever wanted to see that person again, one had to be able to read the situation very well before answering. So today's insight applies to those questions that have no 'right' answer. Questions like, "Do theses jeans make my butt look big?" "What are you thinking about?" and "Was it good for you?"
How do you react when talking to people you disagree with? Do you get angry or try to see things from their perspective?
What questions do you have that you really don't want to 'know' the answer to?
What questions do you just want people to agree with you?

Believe it!

"The reason God and religion make sense to us is because we invented them."
The Chemical Buddha thought that the human brain could make the craziest things make sense. In fact, the more far-fetched it seemed the more people seemed to believe it. For whatever reason, people seemed to think that was much easier than accepting the simple truth. He was sure it was because people didn't want to accept the truth or because to think that this was all there was would depress the hell out of them. TCB knew that if he thought too long on it, he would get a sinking feeling in his stomach which he would fill with alcohol and Twinkies. Or, better yet, alcohol filled Twinkies.
What are your core beliefs?
How did you form them? Were they things you thought up or did you adopt the beliefs of others?
What do you believe to be true? And is it true or do you just believe it to be true?

Truth Be Told

"The lotus position is best for achieving spiritual orgasm."
Believe it or not, there once was a spiritual teacher who tried to reach The Chemical Buddha. He obviously knew TCB well enough to know he could get his attention my mentioning the word 'orgasm.' In fact, The Chemical Buddha actually tried this to see if it was true. Except he couldn’t do a full lotus. Not even a half lotus. He did what he called a 1/16 lotus. But nothing happened. Nothing. No spiritual orgasm. Just lots of leg pain and his butt went to sleep. So he assumed the teacher must have meant the lotus position was actually some sort of sexual configuration and dedicated the rest of his life to finding it. If he did, it was a secret he took with him to his grave. If he'd only had the internet, he could have Googled, 'sex in the lotus position' and found the answers he was looking for.
Do you seek the truth or just what you want to hear?
To you, is truth and what you want to hear the same thing?
How often do you tell people your truth?
How often do you tell people what you think they want to hear?

I Lie, Therefore I Am

“You can't spell beliefs without lies.”
One of the things The Chemical Buddha counted on was that people believed what they wanted to believe. Even if that included believing things that were later proven to be untrue they would still cling to their original belief. For example, when it was proven that the world was round, lots of people continued to believe it was flat, even though every piece of evidence proved them to be incorrect. And beliefs about oneself are particular prone to warped views. For example, The Chemical Buddha thought he was thin. Even though his clothes no longer fit, he insisted on wearing them. Even when he split the ass of his pants. TCB found it was sometimes more comfortable to believe the lies than accept the truth.
What lies are you choosing to believe about yourself and your world?
What would it take for your to see and accept and unflattering or inconvenient truth?

Keg, Bottle, and Can

“Save the beers!”
While the post from January 13th included the actual words of The Chemical Buddha, today’s reading is totally this monk’s conjecture. In fact, I really think he meant, “Save the bears!”, because he was drunk watching a show about brown bears on some nature channel. Of course, he also wanted a beer at the time, so like I said, there’s really no telling what he meant. Much like the teachings of the other Buddha and Jesus, if their words were captured, their disciples added what they thought Buddha and Jesus meant. And more often than not, left off the context of the conversation. So it’s hard to know if they accurately caught what they said and/or meant. To be perfectly honest, this monk isn’t as familiar with the Koran and the teachings of Mohammad to know if that was true for him. But, if anyone knows, feel free to add your two cents. So, today, meditate on the misunderstandings in your life.
What have you misunderstood in your life?
Where have you thought you were doing something noble but were actually doing something self-serving? That now, upon looking back, you wish you would have done something different?

Discovery Drugs

“Most ‘discoveries’ are accidents.”
The Chemical Buddha found it funny how scientists took credit for finding things that were already there. It’s not like they didn’t exist before they were discovered. Most things that are “discoveries” were just stuff we didn’t know about before. He also found it amazing that most stuff was discovered while the discoverer was looking for something else entirely. The Chemical Buddha noticed how only in the field of science and exploration is an accident hailed as something of greatness. Of course, when it came to personal experiences such as enlightenment or visiting other realities, people always wanted proof. When the truth is, anyone could make these discoveries themselves if they were willing to put in the work.
What do you need proof of before you’re willing to believe?
Do you think seeing something for yourself makes it more real?

What's More Than Real?

“Telling someone the observed cannot exist without the observer is the quickest way to a restraining order.”
Contrary to popular belief, The Chemical Buddha was capable of long-term relationships. Of course, he considered anything over a few days, long term. But perhaps the biggest love of his life was someone he never actually dated. Well, not in reality. In his mind they dated, had kids and were very happy together. This relationship would be the very definition of the term stalker. After several flowers (scrounged out of a florist’s dumpster) and pages of creepy notes (the last of which included today’s insight) The Chemical Buddha was hit with a restraining order. And while, at some deeper level his insight may be true, (this thought falls under the “if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?” idea) it’s not the sort of thing that plays well in court. Just so you know, The Chemical Buddha thought the answer to the tree question was “no”. Because sound only exists if it’s heard and doesn’t if it is not.
What truths are you unwilling to recognize?
What ideas only exist in your mind but not in reality?