Drink in the Enligtenment

"I thought I was enlightened. Then I sobered up."
The Chemical Buddha thought he was a lot of things while he was drunk: smart, funny, attractive, bulletproof and enlightened. (A crude definition of enlightenment is to know.) Once he reached enlightenment he knew he was none of these things. But he also became aware that other drunk people thought he was all of these things. Especially right before they passed out. So he turned his attention to learning how to keep people drunk enough to think he was awesome, but sober enough to keep them from blacking out. It was then that he turned his studies away from alcohol and more towards the hallucinogenic and cannabis realms. These seemed to offer the best combination for him and his followers.
Does who you think you are and who other people think you are match?
What would have to change for those to match?

Erector Set

"Maybe too drunk, but never too old."
Granted, The Chemical Buddha didn't live past the age of 25 but, as discussed, his lifestyle aged him horribly. Of course, thanks to all the erectile dysfunction drugs available today, we're not even sure if this insight is still true or not. Because although you're not supposed to take ED drugs when drinking (and we're not about to recommend it either) one can hypothesize they would still do the job. Of course, the only problem with drinking is you'd have a case of whiskey dick and not a lot of stamina. And whiskey dick and a lack of stamina is something TCB knew a little bit about. (OK, a lot.) So if you're able to get it up, you might have trouble getting it off. To The Chemical Buddha anytime it took longer than 30 seconds, he was too pooped to pop and would just stop. Of course he would still ask for a blowjob.
What in you life do you give up on too early?
How do you sabotage yourself so you’re unable to give your maximum performance?

Daaady?

"Those who think fucking sheep is wrong have obviously never tried it."
The Chemical Buddha noticed how people formed opinions about stuff they never experienced. Like how some dismissed a movie or a book without ever seeing it. Or deciding they wouldn't like a food or drink just by the name. To him, this was the very essence of prejudice (or pre-judgment). To the TCB, prejudices seemed shortsighted and small minded. Not to mention, limiting one's chances to experience something new. That's why he applied an open mind to sex and drugs. He was at least willing to try something before dismissing it. In fact, when it came to sex, he decided it was all pink on the inside. Of course, there were a lot of occasions he would get stuck (literally) in some compromising positions. Not to mention all of the times he was caught out in a pasture with his pants down. Or had a farmer at his front door claiming he had knocked up one of his sheep. But of course, that was medically impossible. Besides, he'd tell the farmer he used a sheepskin condom. (He failed to mention the sheep was the condom.)
What do you have pre-judgments about?
How many times have you not tried something new based on your prejudices?

Brew Mastur-Bater

"The only bad thing about going to work drunk is that when you sober up, you're at work."
On the few occasions The Chemical Buddha was gainfully employed, he would often have a little sip or toke to make the job easier to put up with. And it was fun for a little while. Except when he'd sober up. Then it was excruciating. Not only was he now sober but he was at work too. Quite possibly the worse combination imaginable. The reason TCB was only occasionally employed is because his work performance would go right in the toilet when he sobered up. Of course, he did love the job he had at the brewery. However, he got fired from that job because he was caught taking 5 cases of beer home. They didn't believe his story of taking some work home with him. But that aside, it was the only time he combined what he loved with making money. That and the time he launched his website: Watch TCB Masturbate.
Do you do things you don't like to do? If so, how do you motivate yourself?
What do you love to do? Could you earn a living doing what you love?

Past Perfect Tense

"People always think the past was simpler. But as far as I can tell, they still lied, cheated and killed each other back then too."
The Chemical Buddha couldn't figure out what the fascination with the past or the good ol’ days was about. Yes, things were simpler then. As in you had to take what you could get. Plagues from God could just wipe you out. Or people would torture you trying to get you to worship their God(s). People still killed each other. Did unspeakable things to children and the old. Cheated on their wives and most of the STDs we have today are from back then. No, now is best time to be alive. With designer drugs, internet porn, and you can be scarred for life without ever leaving the security of your four walls. People have always done this stuff and as far as The Chemical Buddha could tell, always would. Maybe not as a society or culture, but individually people will continue to hurt each other. So we might as well enjoy all of the comforts we have.
What part of your past do you cling to and what is the cost to you and your happiness?
Someone once said, "True forgiveness is not wishing for a better past." What one thing do you need to let go of to forgive yourself and others?

I've Got Mono

"Christianity started as a cult."
In the early years of his enlightenment through pharmaceuticals movement, The Chemical Buddha was subject to lots of questions, skepticism and even ridicule. He was called names like stoner, burn out and fatso. But he slowly won over converts because he had connections to some of the best weed in town. As more and more people came around to his way of thinking, TCB started to pick up quite a few followers. (As long as you consider one, 'a few'.) Because of his persecution, The Chemical Buddha felt like he could relate to what Jesus, the early Christians, and the first monotheists must have gone through. All of the great thinkers and rebels were feared when they first introduced their ideas. But they all managed to bend society to their will. Eventually. At least, that's what he and I kept telling ourselves.
What new ideas have you dismissed as too stupid or risky?
How do you keep yourself stuck by not trying something different?

iPhone Jesus

"We use the latest technology and a 2,000 year-old belief system."
One of the things that really stumped the Chemical Buddha was how we sought out the latest gizmos and gadgets to help our life, yet we let beliefs that were at least thousands of years old guide us. If technology had changed, hadn't life changed too? Granted, life, like technology, was built on what came before but that was no excuse to not cut your hair, not eat shellfish, not fuck your neighbor. That's why The Chemical Buddha believed our social morays should advance with technology. It should be OK to take a shit in the top tank of someone's toilet you despise. You should be able to eat as much as you want. (Who knows when you’re going to again?) That’s why he also subscribed to the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song "Love The One You’re With." Now there was an advancement worth going after.
What beliefs from the past do you hold onto and what's the impact on your life?
How do you distract yourself with following the new and improved and still being happy with what you have?

¢hri$tmas Eve

"Consumerism is the new religion."
On the eve of one of Christianities biggest holidays, The Chemical Buddha would like to add his voice to all of those thinking it's too commercial. Of course, TCB usually used this as an excuse to not buy people gifts, but he was OK accepting them. However, he did believe when the talk of Christmas sales became newsworthy and people started camping outside and even beating each other to get a gift, things had gone too far. Christmas had disintegrated into a holiday holy war. Which was fed by companies counting on the holiday to turn a profit. He wasn't sure what the difference was between the pursuit of spiritual salvation and the year's hot new toy. The more he thought about it, the more he thought there wasn't any. And he would loudly tell you this from his bar stool at the local watering hole. Especially when he was by himself on Christmas. He'd also tell you Buddhist didn't believe in Christmas in one breath and ask you to buy him a Christmas shot in the next.
What do you religiously follow?
What has the impact been on your life following something so devotedly?

Know It All

"I'm Eggnogstic."
The Chemical Buddha was often asked if he believed in God or the virgin birth of Jesus. Since, he was an enlightened one, he wanted to have an answer. So he would reply, "There is much you don't know." He thought that seemed like a solid answer and didn't commit him to anything. Besides, he'd hear that those who didn't know were called eggnogstic. Which he thought was weird, but made since to him because people always talked about God and Jesus around the prime eggnog serving season of Christmas. Personally, he loved eggnog for the rum. Little did he realize, that he had coined a new term and real agnostics thought he was making fun of them. One time, he expressed his shock at seeing an agnostic drinking eggnog by saying, "I thought you were eggnostic." After which he was beaten about the head and shoulders with a plastic nativity scene baby Jesus. He was able to appreciate the irony.
What do you think you know?
How has thinking you know, rather than actually knowing, created misunderstandings in your life?

Size Matters

"If you want a bigger dick or, for that matter, boobs, date people with small hands."
The Chemical Buddha got this idea when he was with a woman whose hands were larger than his. (At least he thought she was a woman but just with large hands…and…uh…an Adam's apple. On second thought.) He noticed how small his dick looked in her hands. Feeling slightly less than, he resolved at that moment to only 'date' women with hands that were at least the same size as his if not smaller. And just so he didn’'t appear sexist, he also figured the same would work for women's boobs. The only problem is, those small hands would make everything else seem bigger too. Like your ass or love handles. Of course, TCB didn't care about any of that stuff, but you might. The ideal would be to fuck people with one small hand and one large hand. Of course, that seems a little harder to arrange.
What parts of your life do you make bigger than they need to be?
What parts would be better if you made them smaller?

Love Addiction

"People make really bad decisions while high on love."
The Chemical Buddha couldn't figure out why people weren't charged for being under the influence of love. To him, eople always seemed to do stupid stuff while high on love: commit murder, get married and so on. However, The Chemical Buddha would concede that many songs, poems and art were made to impress potential mates. So if not for love we would all still be living in caves, smoking pot and having sex. No advancements in civilization. Just lots of free time doing what we wanted to do. Of course, this conflicted with his thought that women controlled all of the pussy and therefore in the pursuit of their pussy modern civilization arose. (So to speak.) If possible, follow The Chemical Buddha's line of thinking. Men want pussy. Women have pussy. To impress women, men would outdo each other to get to the pussy. Therefore, all advancements made in civilization were made in the pursuit of pussy. Of course, this explains heterosexual pursuit. What about homosexual? This question made The Chemical Buddha reconsider his pussy = modern civilization and he decided horniness = civilization made more sense. Or at least it made sense to TCB. But he was really high at the time. Except it wasn't on love.
When have you made bad choices in your life?
What influenced you to choose what you choose?

Passion of the Buddha

"Happily letting my life go to pot. (And other drugs.)"
The Chemical Buddha never understood why people would tell him his life was going to pot with such disdain. The idea of a pot filled life didn't bother him at all. In fact, he took it as a compliment. Besides, what was he supposed to do? Let his life go to work? Let his life go to buying a bunch of crap he didn't need? Let his life go to judging other people and trying to make himself look better than them? Now that seemed like a waste of time. Pot seemed to be a lot better than all of those options. Personally, The Chemical Buddha didn't care what his followers let their lives go to. As long at they cared about whatever 'it' was and followed it with a passion. Because to him, a life without caring and love might as well be called death.
What are you passionate about? How often do you follow your passion?
What one thing are you willing to give your life to?

Drug Lord

"To visit new plains of reality, first visit your 'pharmacist'."
The Chemical Buddha had a different view of reality than some people. All right, let's make that most people. He didn't believe that much of what we experienced was actually real. Sure, it might seem real at the time, but our view of reality seemed to depend upon how we felt about things. So does that make it real? The Chemical Buddha believed that only by watching our emotions and thoughts like we'd watch TV or a movie (or better yet, a movie on TV) would we see reality. And he found the best way to feel like he was outside of himself was drugging his brain down to where it was only concerned with the basics like breathing, blinking, and keeping his heart beating. It was from this place of not thinking, that The Chemical Buddha believed we could experience the One (also called God by some.) But he would only trust his health to a trained pharmacist. Or someone who at least said he was a pharmacist. Or someone who once went to a pharmacy.
When in your life have you been able to be 'outside' of yourself?
Are you ruled by your thoughts and feelings or by reality? How do you know when you're in touch with reality?

Yes Mass-ter

"Religion is mass mind control."
The thought of being able to influence other people was one of the reasons The Chemical Buddha started the enlightenment through pharmaceuticals movement. He figured other religious figures were pretty much into the same things he was: sex, money, and being worshiped. One of his favorite things about this saying in particular is the double meaning of the world 'mass' to describe a group of people and a religious service. Oftentimes at parties, he would trot this quote out and then proceed to say, "Get it? Mass?" and then he would laugh his ass off. Afterwards, he would be seen off in the corner chuckling and saying, "Mass," to himself. We're not sure if this insight ever got him laid. Our guess would be that it didn't. Although it did cause a fight with him and a couple of nuns once. But he seemed to really enjoy rolling around on the floor with them.
What group do you identify yourself with?
How does that identity control you?

Center of the Universe

"I see what you get out of it, but what's in it for me?"
Like most people, The Chemical Buddha was pretty selfish. But unlike most people, he knew when he was being selfish. He would also call other people out when he thought they were being self centered. When he did that, they would usually deny it and say they were trying to help him first. However, The Chemical Buddha didn't quite understand what was wrong with being selfish. To him, selfishness meant survival. So it was OK to be selfish. If someone else got benefit out of it, all the better. But that wasn't his goal. He found that people that claimed to be selfless were actually looking for something too. They were just more underhanded about it. Which, to him, was worse than just admitting they were only looking out for themselves.
Do you do things for others, yourself or both?
What do you think of people who are 'selfish'? What do you think of yourself when you’re 'selfish'?

Cold Nose

"If you don’t feel guilty, did you do anything wrong?"
Note: this insight goes with the previous two. The Chemical Buddha believed that if you consciously decided to do something, then you shouldn't feel guilty. Now there might be unintended consequences of your actions, but that's not called guilt. That's called learning. While The Chemical Buddha often did things that hurt people, he was usually doing what he wanted to do. And while he might (I repeat, might) feel bad about hurting people, he would usually do what he did again. To him, if you knew the outcome and would still do what you did, you shouldn't feel guilty. He called that making a tough choice. So to bring this full circle, when he had the chance to sleep with his best friend's wife and his of age daughter, he did it. They were there (his best friend was not) and his dick was hard. Of course, it did end his friendship and alienated a lot of people, but given the choice, he would soooo do it again. OK. Maybe he wouldn't have the dog lick his balls. Its cold nose was a little distracting.
Do you worry about hurting people's feelings?
Does hurting other people keep you from making tough choices? If so, what one choice are you willing to make regardless of the consequences?

Karma

"Fortunately, Buddhists don't believe in hell."
After one weekend filled with particularly shameful (according to some holy books) activities, The Chemical Buddha contemplated what he had done and the potential impact on his soul. Then he realized that Buddhists didn't believe in hell as defined by most Christians. Buddhist believe we make hell (or heaven) right here. This reframing helped TCB see that he had actually spent the weekend in sweet heaven. Just like the Ozark Mountain Daredevils sang ("If you want to get to heaven, you’ve got to raise a little hell.") Of course, everyone else involved was scarred for life. But while Buddhists don't believe in hell, they do believe in Karma. As in, what you put out in the universe you get back. And you can rest assured that The Chemical Buddha spent some time in hell so that others could feel a little heaven. When that happened, TCB thought it might be better to believe in a hell that may or may not be there in the afterlife. In fact, he was in catechism at the time of his death. We're not sure how transitioning from one religion to the next affected his reincarnation (which Christians don't believe in) or hell (which Buddhist don't believe in).
How do you use your beliefs to justify your behavior?
How could the simple act of changing what you believe change your entire world?

Damn You

"Some sins are worth risking eternal damnation."
The Chemical Buddha found that how sins were defined changed throughout time. Murder has always been considered the utmost. However, if you accidentally kill someone that seems to be OK. Adultery, while sort of bad now isn't nearly as frowned upon as it was 500 years ago. So this changing sin gauge made The Chemical Buddha wonder if there were souls in hell that were thinking, "Fuck, I’m in eternal damnation for something that's no big deal now. Shit! This sucks." Or do they get out of hell as values change up here? It really didn't matter to The Chemical Buddha because the pursuit of making a TCB sandwich with his best friend's wife and their age of consent daughter while the family dog licked his balls was worth any consequences.
How have your perceptions of what is 'bad' and what is 'good' changed over time?
What one thing are you willing to risk anything to get?

Wham! Bam!

"I can always make myself cum."
Say what you will about The Chemical Buddha, but he was always able to entertain himself. He could stare at the walls for hours and totally enjoy himself. He would claim to listen to the grass grow or watch the dust bunnies form. His mantra was, "As long as I’m having a good time, I don't give a fuck what you're doing." Some might call it selfishness, but he preferred to call it self-sufficient. This was never more apparent than in bed (or on the floor or up against the refrigerator). Any partners that choose to have sex with The Chemical Buddha had to be concerned with their own needs first and foremost. If they stopped to consider what he might want, it was over and they were left sexually frustrated. And you can rest assured that he wasn't thinking of them. In fact, he was probably already asleep.
How does looking out for others (before yourself) work for you?
What areas of your life might a little 'selfishness' help you be happier? What areas might giving to others first help you?

Will Pray for Food (or Sex, or Drugs)

"My disciples are everywhere: under highway overpasses, on street corners, and in insane asylums."
Like every religious order, followers of The Chemical Buddha are easy to spot when you know what to look for. If you feel so inclined please offer the followers of The Chemical Buddha drugs, money, sex, a hot meal or even a clean pair of underwear. These people have devoted their lives to showing us all another path and a different way of being. Although it might not be one you agree with or have sympathy for, it is the one they have chosen. While The Chemical Buddha walked his path, he too felt the sting of non-believers or those who thought they knew better. His belief is that we are all here to find our way, no matter how unconventional it may look to everyone else, we are all here for a specific purpose. And part of that purpose is to help each get where we want to go.
Do you compete with other people or do you help?
What one thing could you do to help someone along? What is one thing someone could do to help you?

Hurts so Good

"Buddha meditates to alleviate pain and suffering. Chemical Buddha medicates to numb pain and suffering."
Buddhist believe that through meditation one could see pain and suffering as impermanent and merely amusing occurrences that come and go. But The Chemical Buddha invested a lot in his pain and suffering. Some might say that it was how he defined himself and was his reason for being. So he found it easier to just numb whatever he didn't want to experience. It was a lot faster than sitting on a cushion for hours on end. Although, as far as we know, he never tried meditation. So rather than breathing into anything uncomfortable he didn't want to experience and slowly releasing his attachment to it, he would just drink, smoke or orgasm it away. And, on rare occasion, do all three at once.
What painful experiences are you attached to?
How might accepting the past, rather than wishing it didn't happen, allow you to move on?

Spare Change

"You change the system by ignoring it."
Every generation seems to be about change. That's because no one ever seems to be happy to be a part of the system that made it possible for them to be here in the first place. The Chemical Buddha was also one such person. But, as we've discussed earlier, he was pretty lazy. And he found the best way to impact change was not to fight against the system or try and change it from the inside (just another word for selling out). He found the best way to change it was to ignore what everyone else was doing and go his own way. So TCB took ancient religious philosophies and combined it with modern medicine and sex aids to create his own direction.
What do you fight against that you might just be better off ignoring?
What do you risk by going your own way and ignoring what others think around you?

Can I Get a Light?

"What do you do when you reach enlightenment? Light it up again."
The Chemical Buddha was often asked how his life was different after he reached enlightenment. He always told them his life was pretty much the same. Except he was now more aware of what it was that drove him. He no longer reacted without thinking. He still talked without thinking (and stuck his dick in things without thinking) but he didn't react without thinking. But it wasn't like his joints magically rolled themselves. And he still had to open his own pill bottles and pour his drinks. But he was happier and knew that he choose everything he did. According to the Zen masters, we're all enlightened. It’s just that most of us don't know it. For a flat fee, a blow job, a six pack of lukewarm beer or a couple of roaches, TCB was willing to help you know.
What one inner truth do you need to admit to yourself?
What if you chose everything in your life? What would you chose to be different?

Suck My Addiction

"The best way to quit an addiction is to become addicted to something else."
As we've already discussed, The Chemical Buddha was addicted to everything. So he considered himself an expert. His 20 years worth of addiction experience taught him to cycle through his addictions on an hourly basis so they didn't become a problem. Of course, not everyone was as advanced as TCB. Some people only had one or two addictions. In that case, he suggested picking something else to get addicted to. It didn't matter what, just something to take you away from your current troubles. To be honest, The Chemical Buddha thought that's what addiction clinics did. Help people find something new to become addicted to. He based this idea on the fact that several addicts he knew became addicted to telling people about the evils of drugs and alcohol. In addition they really got into telling people how to live.
Do you tell other people how to live? If so, do you follow your own advice?
As you look back on your life, how has what's important to you changed?

Perverts Anonymous

"Perverts only do what everyone else is thinking."
As humans, we all think of things we never consider doing. Perverts, however, seem to lack certain filters. Although The Chemical Buddha found it interesting that even perverts would be repulsed by other perverts. He knew that because he tried to start a pervert support group to give people a place to be accepted. But that digressed to a bunch of tourists who just liked to hear how fucked up other people were. And, let's face it, we're all fucked up in some way. It's just that some types of fucked up are more accepted than others. Just like some drugs are more accepted than others. Personally, The Chemical Buddha tried to do things that were consensual and didn't hurt in a bad way. Pain is a part of life and there's the pain of missing someone and then there's the pain of being ball gagged against your will.
What parts of your life are you just a tourist?
What fucked up part of yourself do you hide from others?

Open Up

"I have the can opener to open your mind."
Like you, The Chemical Buddha was a somewhat normal little boy before he set out on his path. Legend has it that he found his calling at the age of 5 when a friend of his parents gave him his first hit of acid. Actually, he saw everyone else doing it and asked for some. The friend was too far gone to refuse and placed the tab on his little tongue. As he did so, he said, "This'll open your mind.” As TCB took his trip, one of the things he thought about was can openers. It felt like someone actually opened his skull and poured in new thoughts, sensations, and ways of seeing the world. Before adopting the name The Chemical Buddha, he often said the above phrase and referred to himself as The Can Opener. But that seemed more like a name for a professional wrestler than a leader of an enlightenment movement.
What ideas are you closed to and don't even consider?
What one thing could you open yourself to just to see what happens?

Well Red

"There’s nothing scarier than a redneck with money."
The Chemical Buddha's travels would often take him through some 'interesting' parts of the country. (Interesting was a word his mother would use when she didn’t like something.) As he’d travel through the more redneck parts, and pretty much every city gets pretty redneck 30 miles outside the city limits, he came up with the above view. He reasoned it was this combination of cash and limited world view that was responsible for giving us chromed out monster trucks, Armageddon shelters, and those classy Big Johnson T-shirts of the late 90s. What he didn’t understand was how rednecks with money seemed to want respect and admiration but they didn't respect anyone. TCB believed it was hard to get something you were unwilling to give. He also learned if you ever said something like that to a redneck, they'd get pissed off and you'd have to find another meth dealer.
Is the world you're creating the same as the world you want?
What might you have to give, in order to get it back?

If It Feels Good, Do It

"Sinning without guilt isn't a sin."
The Chemical Buddha never understood why people felt guilty because 1) it never seemed to change their behavior and 2) it just seemed to make people feel worse about their lives. That's why he always asked, "Did you have fun? Then why feel guilty?" So the entire concept of sin was foreign to The Chemical Buddha. Sin actually seemed to be based on what other people thought about how he lived his life, rather than how he thought about it. And if there was one thing that TCB didn't like, it was people telling him how to live. But, as the leader of his own religious movement, it was perfectly OK for him to pass judgment on other people. In fact, he pushed his agenda of not wanting people to feel guilty that some of his followers felt guilty for not feeling guilty.
What is a guilty pleasure no one knows about?
Do you feel guilty about it or do you worry what other people would think if they found out?

Truth

"When in doubt, lie to yourself."
There were several times The Chemical Buddha heard things he disagreed with like: "You're a drunk. You're fat. You're an idiot." Any normal person might have examined their life or made some changes. But The Chemical Buddha was not a normal person. He knew he was destined to transcend those who would keep him down. Keep him from achieving his full potential. All those naysayers were just jealous that he had a goal in life. That he was an enlightened being meant to show them the way. They were just resisting the truth. He knew better. He was chosen to lead the dawning of a new age. And he was smart, plump but cute and only drank when he was awake. So what did they know anyway? Just because they were accredited professionals with training on how to deal with people who had delusions of grandeur. Just because they fit society's definition of fuckable they didn't know everything. No, The Chemical Buddha was stronger than all of them. He would show them all he was special.
What lies are you telling to yourself?
Do you give up when people tell you it can't be done or do you press on?

Mine!

"Addicted to everything™."
The Chemical Buddha couldn't find one thing he was addicted to. He found several things. Check that, he found everything. And if everything is the one and the one is everything, he would say he was addicted to the one. Of course, there were some things he absolutely had to have more than others. But deep down he wanted it all. In fact, he hoarded everything he could. Of course, he hoarded everything he truly loved in his body. (Or more precisely, his bloodstream.) There is some dispute over whether The Chemical Buddha admitted to being addicted to everything or if this was the diagnosis of his parole officer. Our money is on his PO coming up with this, but that didn't keep TCB from taking credit for it. Or trademarking it.
What one thing do you choose over everything else?
What are you denying because you don’t want to admit it may be true?

Preparation H

"The only movement I'm interested in joining is a bowel movement."
One of the bad side effects of certain enlightenment helpers was they tended to slow down the body's systems. Particularly the digestive system. The Chemical Buddha came up with this insight while he was straining on the throne. In fact, he pushed so hard (to no avail) he gave himself hemorrhoids. Every election year since, he toyed with the idea of printing up yard signs, buttons, and bumper stickers that said, "Join the Bowel Movement." But that would have taken money away from his true pursuits. Luckily, you dear reader, can buy one (and a lot of other cool crap) at chemicalbuddha.com. We promise all proceeds will go to supporting The Chemical Buddha's followers in the squalor to which they have become accustomed. (It beats giving them money on a street corner.) Besides, every true religion solicits money from the wannabes.
What are you passionate about?
What happens when you push too hard for something you want?