“I lost my moral compass.”
The Chemical Buddha was a wayward spirit pretty much from the get go. While other children’s parents would instill some sort of idea of ‘right’ and ‘wrong,’ TCB’s parents conveyed the message that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ were actually just ideas. And what may be right in one culture is wrong in another. And vice versa. So The Chemical Buddha had no guidance on what to do in any given situation (other than following what his dick, stomach, or addictions told him to do). This made being around The Chemical Buddha quite a challenge. Because one moment you could do something and he could be happy as a lark (a stoned lark, but a lark nonetheless). And the next he could be throwing a temper tantrum about how ‘wrong’ something was. He claimed this was to teach his students how things could change in an instant.
How has your concept of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ changed?
What things did you use to think were ‘right’ do you now think of as ‘wrong’?
Why do you think your ideas have changed?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
I Know That I Don't Know
“The only thing that exceeds what I don’t know is what I think I know.”
The Chemical Buddha was a master of many things. Check that, he thought he was a master of many things. Especially sex. But trust us, he wasn’t an expert on anything sex related outside of how to get himself off the quickest. Of course, TCB thought the fact that he knew that there were things he didn’t know made him wiser. (This thinking is also what led to today’s insight.) His knowing of his lack of knowledge may or may not have made him wiser. We just know he didn’t seem to be taking any steps towards increasing what he knew. None. At all. Especially about what it took to please someone else. Bastard.
What do you think you know?
When you learn you don’t know, do you try to learn more or are you satisfied with your level of knowledge?
What one thing would you like to know more about? What steps are you taking to learn more?
The Chemical Buddha was a master of many things. Check that, he thought he was a master of many things. Especially sex. But trust us, he wasn’t an expert on anything sex related outside of how to get himself off the quickest. Of course, TCB thought the fact that he knew that there were things he didn’t know made him wiser. (This thinking is also what led to today’s insight.) His knowing of his lack of knowledge may or may not have made him wiser. We just know he didn’t seem to be taking any steps towards increasing what he knew. None. At all. Especially about what it took to please someone else. Bastard.
What do you think you know?
When you learn you don’t know, do you try to learn more or are you satisfied with your level of knowledge?
What one thing would you like to know more about? What steps are you taking to learn more?
Friday, May 29, 2009
Who Knew?
“My addictions define me.”
While most other people used fancy clothes, cars, and jewelry to tell the world who they were, The Chemical Buddha used sex, drugs and food to define himself. If TCB was afraid of anything, it was that if he didn’t have all of his various addictions, who would he be? How would he define himself? The good thing about his fear is it drove him to pile on even more addictions, so the chance of him shedding them all to get down to his core essence was pretty much impossible. Which means there was very little worry that anyone would ever find out who The Chemical Buddha truly was. Most of all him.
How do you define yourself?
How do you let others know who you are and what you are about?
If you took all of that stuff away, who would you be?
While most other people used fancy clothes, cars, and jewelry to tell the world who they were, The Chemical Buddha used sex, drugs and food to define himself. If TCB was afraid of anything, it was that if he didn’t have all of his various addictions, who would he be? How would he define himself? The good thing about his fear is it drove him to pile on even more addictions, so the chance of him shedding them all to get down to his core essence was pretty much impossible. Which means there was very little worry that anyone would ever find out who The Chemical Buddha truly was. Most of all him.
How do you define yourself?
How do you let others know who you are and what you are about?
If you took all of that stuff away, who would you be?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Surprise me! (Just Kidding.)
“Forget enlightenment, it's better to be unaware of how fucked up the world is.”
Once The Chemical Buddha became aware of all that is, he realized just how unjust and fucked up the world was. He learned there were people who got laid way more than he did. That had free and easy access to drugs. And, even more fucked up, that there were actually people who didn’t want to have sex or do drugs. Which literally caused him to have a heart attack. (His second one ever.) Once he learned all of this, he couldn’t get it out of his mind. Like trying to stuff a vacuum packed sleeping bag back into it’s original wrapper, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it to fit without ripping something.
What things have you learned that have changed the way you see the world?
What would you have rather not learned? Why do you regret learning it? How did you react?
Do you like to know everything or be surprised? What’s the impact on you?
Once The Chemical Buddha became aware of all that is, he realized just how unjust and fucked up the world was. He learned there were people who got laid way more than he did. That had free and easy access to drugs. And, even more fucked up, that there were actually people who didn’t want to have sex or do drugs. Which literally caused him to have a heart attack. (His second one ever.) Once he learned all of this, he couldn’t get it out of his mind. Like trying to stuff a vacuum packed sleeping bag back into it’s original wrapper, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it to fit without ripping something.
What things have you learned that have changed the way you see the world?
What would you have rather not learned? Why do you regret learning it? How did you react?
Do you like to know everything or be surprised? What’s the impact on you?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
On Tap
“It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. All that matters is what’s in the glass.”
While some people used the glass half-empty/hall full question to help determine people’s personality traits, The Chemical Buddha only cared what was in the glass. If it was something he liked drinking, then the glass was half empty (because he wanted more). If it was something he didn’t want (which was highly unlikely) the glass was half full. But in general, we would say TCB was quite an optimist. Who else would think they were going to get laid, no matter how many women laughed in his face. We can say, that if you did have sex with The Chemical Buddha, the orifice he stuck his dick in was half full. Maybe less.
In general, do you see the problems or do you see the solution?
Do you see impossible situations as a reason to have hope or as hopeless?
What impact does this world view have on you and your life?
While some people used the glass half-empty/hall full question to help determine people’s personality traits, The Chemical Buddha only cared what was in the glass. If it was something he liked drinking, then the glass was half empty (because he wanted more). If it was something he didn’t want (which was highly unlikely) the glass was half full. But in general, we would say TCB was quite an optimist. Who else would think they were going to get laid, no matter how many women laughed in his face. We can say, that if you did have sex with The Chemical Buddha, the orifice he stuck his dick in was half full. Maybe less.
In general, do you see the problems or do you see the solution?
Do you see impossible situations as a reason to have hope or as hopeless?
What impact does this world view have on you and your life?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pray Day
“I came here to play, not pray.”
The Chemical Buddha was pretty clear on how he wanted to spend what limited time he had on earth. And he decided that if he was going to be on his knees, he was either going to be puking into the toilet or clumsily trying to find someone’s clit with his tongue. So let’s just say he wasn’t a fan of praying. Unless he was praying to God to make the bed stop spinning or to keep him from throwing up all the alcohol he’d worked so hard to drink down. He figured all the time others devoted to their spiritual/religious practice, he would dedicate to his own brand of spiritual/religious practice. It was that very thinking that help put ‘enlightenment through pharmaceuticals’ on the spiritual map.
What do you spend most of your time doing?
Is it stuff you have to do or stuff you want to do?
What percentage of your day is spent doing things you want to do?
The Chemical Buddha was pretty clear on how he wanted to spend what limited time he had on earth. And he decided that if he was going to be on his knees, he was either going to be puking into the toilet or clumsily trying to find someone’s clit with his tongue. So let’s just say he wasn’t a fan of praying. Unless he was praying to God to make the bed stop spinning or to keep him from throwing up all the alcohol he’d worked so hard to drink down. He figured all the time others devoted to their spiritual/religious practice, he would dedicate to his own brand of spiritual/religious practice. It was that very thinking that help put ‘enlightenment through pharmaceuticals’ on the spiritual map.
What do you spend most of your time doing?
Is it stuff you have to do or stuff you want to do?
What percentage of your day is spent doing things you want to do?
Monday, May 25, 2009
This Way In
“My favorite position is ‘in.’”
When it came to sexual positions, The Chemical Buddha wasn’t picky. As long as his dick was in (hence today’s insight) he was happy. He knew it wouldn’t be in anything for very long (which was it’s own kind of blessing). Because of TCB’s lack of stamina, he had a lot of time to think, fantasize, and dream about sex. And while The Chemical Buddha had many friends who spent years studying the "Kama Sutra" and "The Joy of Sex" and knew every possible position. Seeing how culture, in particular American culture, was obsessed with sex, The Chemical Buddha thought about writing his own sex book. Except he couldn’t figure out how to stretch his one word philosophy into at least 200, hot and sexy pages.
What does it take to satisfy you?
What do you study too much? What don’t you study enough?
When it came to sexual positions, The Chemical Buddha wasn’t picky. As long as his dick was in (hence today’s insight) he was happy. He knew it wouldn’t be in anything for very long (which was it’s own kind of blessing). Because of TCB’s lack of stamina, he had a lot of time to think, fantasize, and dream about sex. And while The Chemical Buddha had many friends who spent years studying the "Kama Sutra" and "The Joy of Sex" and knew every possible position. Seeing how culture, in particular American culture, was obsessed with sex, The Chemical Buddha thought about writing his own sex book. Except he couldn’t figure out how to stretch his one word philosophy into at least 200, hot and sexy pages.
What does it take to satisfy you?
What do you study too much? What don’t you study enough?
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Waste Not. Want Not.
“Never waste an erection.”
The Chemical Buddha believed erections were an indication that it was time for a little pleasure. While most seemed to believe if they didn’t take advantage of the erection they were having right now, another one would come along. But The Chemical Buddha believed you could never be too sure and that the only erection he could be sure he was going to get was the one he had right now. He used that philosophy when it came to a lot of areas of his life. The only thing TCB could be sure of was what was happening now. Take it from us, it was best to not be around The Chemical Buddha when he got an erection. (As you’ll see from the May 25th insight.) And never, ever bend over to pick something up when he’s around.
Do you make the most of the situation or do you think you’ll have another chance?
What do you do when you miss a chance? Try and go back or just let it go?
The Chemical Buddha believed erections were an indication that it was time for a little pleasure. While most seemed to believe if they didn’t take advantage of the erection they were having right now, another one would come along. But The Chemical Buddha believed you could never be too sure and that the only erection he could be sure he was going to get was the one he had right now. He used that philosophy when it came to a lot of areas of his life. The only thing TCB could be sure of was what was happening now. Take it from us, it was best to not be around The Chemical Buddha when he got an erection. (As you’ll see from the May 25th insight.) And never, ever bend over to pick something up when he’s around.
Do you make the most of the situation or do you think you’ll have another chance?
What do you do when you miss a chance? Try and go back or just let it go?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
So Says the Buddha …
“It’s only kinky the first time.”
The Chemical Buddha was always up for trying anything, no matter how kinky, once. And if he liked it, he would do it again. What he noticed by doing something considered ‘kinky’ more than once is that the adrenaline rush of doing something ‘forbidden’ wasn’t the same. He recognized that because the human ego is constantly searching for something new to satisfy it, once tried, it becomes tired and boring. So while innovation is ego driven and responsible for all of our advancements it is also ego driven. And with every advancement there is the craving for more and more and more. Until we are only advancing for the sake of something new. At this moment in our society, most ‘advancements’ are just minor improvements.
Are you satisfied with what you have or are you looking for something new? What’s the impact on you?
Do you seek our advancements or just something new? How did you distinguish minor improvements from the actual advancements?
The Chemical Buddha was always up for trying anything, no matter how kinky, once. And if he liked it, he would do it again. What he noticed by doing something considered ‘kinky’ more than once is that the adrenaline rush of doing something ‘forbidden’ wasn’t the same. He recognized that because the human ego is constantly searching for something new to satisfy it, once tried, it becomes tired and boring. So while innovation is ego driven and responsible for all of our advancements it is also ego driven. And with every advancement there is the craving for more and more and more. Until we are only advancing for the sake of something new. At this moment in our society, most ‘advancements’ are just minor improvements.
Are you satisfied with what you have or are you looking for something new? What’s the impact on you?
Do you seek our advancements or just something new? How did you distinguish minor improvements from the actual advancements?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Dying to Live
“Live until you die.”
The Chemical Buddha noticed some people seemed to be worn out and mentally close minded while they were still fairly young, TCB was all about enjoying life. In fact, he was pretty sure life was the only thing worth living. Today’s insight was inspired by a friend’s dog: Buster, who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But when The Chemical Buddha saw the dog, Buster still acted as he had always acted. The news of his impending death didn’t stop him from sniffing people’s butts, licking his balls or playing catch. And, according to his friend, that’s what Buster did right up until the time he passed away. The Chemical Buddha thought more people should be like dogs. Besides, The Chemical Buddha thought it would be nice if he could lick his own balls.
Are you open to new ideas or do you find yourself clinging to what you’ve always done?
How does ‘bad’ news affect you? Do you dwell on it or get on with your life?
The Chemical Buddha noticed some people seemed to be worn out and mentally close minded while they were still fairly young, TCB was all about enjoying life. In fact, he was pretty sure life was the only thing worth living. Today’s insight was inspired by a friend’s dog: Buster, who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But when The Chemical Buddha saw the dog, Buster still acted as he had always acted. The news of his impending death didn’t stop him from sniffing people’s butts, licking his balls or playing catch. And, according to his friend, that’s what Buster did right up until the time he passed away. The Chemical Buddha thought more people should be like dogs. Besides, The Chemical Buddha thought it would be nice if he could lick his own balls.
Are you open to new ideas or do you find yourself clinging to what you’ve always done?
How does ‘bad’ news affect you? Do you dwell on it or get on with your life?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Action Addictions
“Addicted to my distractions.”
As you may have noticed, The Chemical Buddha was addicted to a lot (and we do mean a lot) of things. But we think he was really trying to distract himself from his unhappy childhood, and problems holding down a job or finding a good woman. Although he would say his jumping around was about being in the moment and trying to take in as much as possible. And while, on the surface, that seems like a pretty good answer, we’re almost positive that seems like what was going on. But take it from us, once TCB got wasted or came he curled up into the fetal position and bawled like a baby about his childhood. Luckily, he wouldn’t remember any of it because he was soooo wasted.
How do you justify your behavior?
What do you try to forget? Do you think it’s possible to forget the things you’re trying to forget or do the memories come up at the wrong time?
What would work better for you to let them go? Talking about them and releasing them, or stuffing them and trying to forget them?
As you may have noticed, The Chemical Buddha was addicted to a lot (and we do mean a lot) of things. But we think he was really trying to distract himself from his unhappy childhood, and problems holding down a job or finding a good woman. Although he would say his jumping around was about being in the moment and trying to take in as much as possible. And while, on the surface, that seems like a pretty good answer, we’re almost positive that seems like what was going on. But take it from us, once TCB got wasted or came he curled up into the fetal position and bawled like a baby about his childhood. Luckily, he wouldn’t remember any of it because he was soooo wasted.
How do you justify your behavior?
What do you try to forget? Do you think it’s possible to forget the things you’re trying to forget or do the memories come up at the wrong time?
What would work better for you to let them go? Talking about them and releasing them, or stuffing them and trying to forget them?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Best. Drug. Ever.
“O.D. on pure awareness.”
The only time The Chemical Buddha had a drug overdose was the moment right before he died. But because TCB, along with other Buddhists, believed everything happened in our awareness, he likened enlightenment to an overdose of 100% pure awareness. And to partake in pure awareness was the best high imaginable. Although, like any pure drug, the high was hard to maintain so you would eventually come down. Because humans weren’t meant to take in that much juice. If they were, they wouldn’t be human, they’d be gods (or The Chemical Buddha).
How much are you aware of in your life? Are you aware of the impact you have on others (both good and bad)?
How much of your life do you not participate in? Are you aware of the impact it has on others?
The only time The Chemical Buddha had a drug overdose was the moment right before he died. But because TCB, along with other Buddhists, believed everything happened in our awareness, he likened enlightenment to an overdose of 100% pure awareness. And to partake in pure awareness was the best high imaginable. Although, like any pure drug, the high was hard to maintain so you would eventually come down. Because humans weren’t meant to take in that much juice. If they were, they wouldn’t be human, they’d be gods (or The Chemical Buddha).
How much are you aware of in your life? Are you aware of the impact you have on others (both good and bad)?
How much of your life do you not participate in? Are you aware of the impact it has on others?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Fortune
“… in bed with a cop isn't as much fun as it sounds.”
The Chemical Buddha was a fan of Chinese food and, more importantly, fortune cookies. He would always add. "in bed with a cop" to whatever he got. Like, "You will find happiness on a road less traveled in bed with a cop." Shit like that made him laugh his ass off. (Or maybe it was the pot). That was, until the day he actually got a chance to be in bed with a cop. Although it wasn’t as much fun as he thought it would be (but then, what is) he did think it was something everyone should experience once in their lives. Beside, cops always had the best drugs.
Do you build up a situation before you experience it? If so, are you happy once you experience it or are you disappointed?
What do you get out of trying to figure everything out before it happens? What would it take for you to be in the moment and just let it unfold?
The Chemical Buddha was a fan of Chinese food and, more importantly, fortune cookies. He would always add. "in bed with a cop" to whatever he got. Like, "You will find happiness on a road less traveled in bed with a cop." Shit like that made him laugh his ass off. (Or maybe it was the pot). That was, until the day he actually got a chance to be in bed with a cop. Although it wasn’t as much fun as he thought it would be (but then, what is) he did think it was something everyone should experience once in their lives. Beside, cops always had the best drugs.
Do you build up a situation before you experience it? If so, are you happy once you experience it or are you disappointed?
What do you get out of trying to figure everything out before it happens? What would it take for you to be in the moment and just let it unfold?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Balance Sheet
“We're all just entries on someone's profit and loss report.”
The Chemical Buddha could become quite cynical when he thought about big business and how everything was just about money. This usually came to a head whenever he got calls/letters from creditors trying to collect on all the money he owed them. He would scream into the phone, ‘I’m more than a number you fuck head!’ But he also realized big business looked at people as potential customers and, therefore, as potential profit centers. And that big business didn’t care if you lived or died, as long as you bought a bunch of their shit while you were alive. Oh, and hopefully created some more future consumers while you were here. Although you might call them children (or someone to put you in the an old age home and sell all of your stuff off and skip town with all of your money).
How do you see people in your life? As living things or as someone who can do something for you?
How do you think other people see you?
Do you get more out of the stuff you own or experiences you have?
The Chemical Buddha could become quite cynical when he thought about big business and how everything was just about money. This usually came to a head whenever he got calls/letters from creditors trying to collect on all the money he owed them. He would scream into the phone, ‘I’m more than a number you fuck head!’ But he also realized big business looked at people as potential customers and, therefore, as potential profit centers. And that big business didn’t care if you lived or died, as long as you bought a bunch of their shit while you were alive. Oh, and hopefully created some more future consumers while you were here. Although you might call them children (or someone to put you in the an old age home and sell all of your stuff off and skip town with all of your money).
How do you see people in your life? As living things or as someone who can do something for you?
How do you think other people see you?
Do you get more out of the stuff you own or experiences you have?
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Love the Kinks
“Being kinky is expensive.”
The Chemical Buddha was into trying new things in the bedroom, dining room table, on a car hood, in public restrooms, in public parks, under bridges (you get the idea). He didn’t mind being spanked, blindfolded, tied down, or humiliated. And he loved himself some role play. Although he did find some of those things to be a little too rich for his blood. Especially when it only took him seconds to come anyway. So as long as someone else was willing to pick up the tab, he was into any kink that was going on. In fact, he hadn’t already said ‘the best beer is free beer’ this insight could have very well been, ‘the best kink is free kink.’
Do you constantly seek out new things or do you stay with the tried and true?
How does that effect your life and who ends up paying in the end?
The Chemical Buddha was into trying new things in the bedroom, dining room table, on a car hood, in public restrooms, in public parks, under bridges (you get the idea). He didn’t mind being spanked, blindfolded, tied down, or humiliated. And he loved himself some role play. Although he did find some of those things to be a little too rich for his blood. Especially when it only took him seconds to come anyway. So as long as someone else was willing to pick up the tab, he was into any kink that was going on. In fact, he hadn’t already said ‘the best beer is free beer’ this insight could have very well been, ‘the best kink is free kink.’
Do you constantly seek out new things or do you stay with the tried and true?
How does that effect your life and who ends up paying in the end?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Herpes: Forget-Me-Nots
“Venereal diseases are to help you remember nights you’d rather forget.”
Like most serious drug addicts, The Chemical Buddha didn’t have a very good memory. He could remember where to buy drugs and how to use them. But, no matter if he was high or sober, he couldn’t remember what he did or who he did it with. So it’s no surprise that he couldn’t remember who he'd stuck his dick in or what the result of that sticking was. So when he found red bumps all over his dick, he would just think they had always been there. Just like he thought it had always burned when he peed. Or like how he couldn’t remember a time when puss didn’t ooze out. He figured life had always been and always would be that way. Sometimes we wish we could see the world as he did. Especially when we look down at our own genitals and remember a time before we met The Chemical Buddha. A time before those red bumps weren’t there.
What do you think will never change?
What do you hold onto as always having to be a certain that way?
What do you not pay attention to? What would you rather forget?
Like most serious drug addicts, The Chemical Buddha didn’t have a very good memory. He could remember where to buy drugs and how to use them. But, no matter if he was high or sober, he couldn’t remember what he did or who he did it with. So it’s no surprise that he couldn’t remember who he'd stuck his dick in or what the result of that sticking was. So when he found red bumps all over his dick, he would just think they had always been there. Just like he thought it had always burned when he peed. Or like how he couldn’t remember a time when puss didn’t ooze out. He figured life had always been and always would be that way. Sometimes we wish we could see the world as he did. Especially when we look down at our own genitals and remember a time before we met The Chemical Buddha. A time before those red bumps weren’t there.
What do you think will never change?
What do you hold onto as always having to be a certain that way?
What do you not pay attention to? What would you rather forget?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Experienced
“I slept my way to the top of the enlightenment ladder.”
There were those gurus who thought The Chemical Buddha didn’t deserve to be called enlightened. They thought he had taken short cuts to get to where he was. By the way, TCB never denied those claims. In fact, he said enlightenment was easy to attain because feelings of oneness were all around us and all of us could partake in them whenever we choose. The Chemical Buddha believed we were the only ones who could separate ourselves from oneness. Oneness was always open and available to being experienced. In the words of the immortal Jimi Hendrix, ‘Have you ever been experienced?’ TCB saw the gateways of drugs, food and sex as just some of the ways to experience the peak that could give you a taste of being all of everything that is.
How do you keep yourself a part from others? What is the cost to you? What is the benefit?
If you see life as a choice, how did your choices get you to where you are now?
There were those gurus who thought The Chemical Buddha didn’t deserve to be called enlightened. They thought he had taken short cuts to get to where he was. By the way, TCB never denied those claims. In fact, he said enlightenment was easy to attain because feelings of oneness were all around us and all of us could partake in them whenever we choose. The Chemical Buddha believed we were the only ones who could separate ourselves from oneness. Oneness was always open and available to being experienced. In the words of the immortal Jimi Hendrix, ‘Have you ever been experienced?’ TCB saw the gateways of drugs, food and sex as just some of the ways to experience the peak that could give you a taste of being all of everything that is.
How do you keep yourself a part from others? What is the cost to you? What is the benefit?
If you see life as a choice, how did your choices get you to where you are now?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Everlasting Now
“During a one-night stand, you're either cumming or going.”
We’re not sure how many multi-night stands The Chemical Buddha actually had, but we’re sure he was one of the only people who was so quick he could come and go at pretty much the same time. To TCB, this spoke to the transitory nature of life. Here one minute. Gone the next. How every moment is different than the one before it and it only takes a second for the entire world to change. This is one of the reasons The Chemical Buddha lived his life as he did. Because, when his time came, he didn’t want to have any regrets.
Do you appreciate the moment you’re in or do you look forward to the next moment?
If you’re looking toward the future how does always looking forward affect you?
If you’re always in the moment, how does not planning affect you?
We’re not sure how many multi-night stands The Chemical Buddha actually had, but we’re sure he was one of the only people who was so quick he could come and go at pretty much the same time. To TCB, this spoke to the transitory nature of life. Here one minute. Gone the next. How every moment is different than the one before it and it only takes a second for the entire world to change. This is one of the reasons The Chemical Buddha lived his life as he did. Because, when his time came, he didn’t want to have any regrets.
Do you appreciate the moment you’re in or do you look forward to the next moment?
If you’re looking toward the future how does always looking forward affect you?
If you’re always in the moment, how does not planning affect you?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Opinions
“Why do controlled substances lead to uncontrollable behavior?”
As demonstrated by today’s insight, The Chemical Buddha had an appreciation for irony and word play. He was said to have mumbled this in the drunk tank at his local jail. The cops and his fellow inmates didn’t share TCB’s ironic appreciation. He also tried this insight when trying to get his fellow citizens to sign his petition seeking to take controlled substances off their leash and make them uncontrolled. And while all of the street people were totally in favor of it, no one else was. And without a valid address (rather than ‘under the 6th street viaduct’) the signatures he did get, didn’t count.
Whose opinion do you value and why?
What sway does their opinion have over you?
What things to you do or don't do because of their opinion? What’s the impact on you?
As demonstrated by today’s insight, The Chemical Buddha had an appreciation for irony and word play. He was said to have mumbled this in the drunk tank at his local jail. The cops and his fellow inmates didn’t share TCB’s ironic appreciation. He also tried this insight when trying to get his fellow citizens to sign his petition seeking to take controlled substances off their leash and make them uncontrolled. And while all of the street people were totally in favor of it, no one else was. And without a valid address (rather than ‘under the 6th street viaduct’) the signatures he did get, didn’t count.
Whose opinion do you value and why?
What sway does their opinion have over you?
What things to you do or don't do because of their opinion? What’s the impact on you?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Me and Mine!
“I'm all I think about.”
If everything is one and one is everything, The Chemical Buddha deduced that if he only thought about himself, he would actually be thinking about everything. He also rationalized that his view of the world was totally his. Because the entire world was filtered through his thoughts and feelings. So no one else on the planet had his perspective and if he wasn’t thinking of himself, then who the hell was? Or, more importantly, whom could he trust to think about him? Because in The Chemical Buddha’s mind everyone only thought about themselves. Which meant no one would be looking out for him.
Are you happy with who you are? Or do you think there’s room for improvement?
How often do you put yourself first? How often do you put others first?
Do you think it’s OK to sometimes put yourself first? Do you think it’s OK to put other people first?
If everything is one and one is everything, The Chemical Buddha deduced that if he only thought about himself, he would actually be thinking about everything. He also rationalized that his view of the world was totally his. Because the entire world was filtered through his thoughts and feelings. So no one else on the planet had his perspective and if he wasn’t thinking of himself, then who the hell was? Or, more importantly, whom could he trust to think about him? Because in The Chemical Buddha’s mind everyone only thought about themselves. Which meant no one would be looking out for him.
Are you happy with who you are? Or do you think there’s room for improvement?
How often do you put yourself first? How often do you put others first?
Do you think it’s OK to sometimes put yourself first? Do you think it’s OK to put other people first?
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sort my Shit
“It takes 3 times as much energy to get rid of something as it does to buy it.”
The Chemical Buddha was a bit of a pack rat. He was always holding on to stuff because he thought he might need it someday. Then, he’d have so much shit he couldn’t find what he needed, so he’d go out and buy another one. Which meant he ended up with two or three. Of course, he never had multiple cases of beer or pounds of pot. That stuff was consumed as it was bought. Through this process, The Chemical Buddha realized how much energy it took to sort through, organize, and decide what shit to get rid of. He found that what took seconds to buy took minutes, hours, days, even weeks to get rid of. Luckily, he was always being evicted from his apartment and all of his shit was either thrown out on the street with him or trashed. Making the sorting job someone else’s problem.
What is your relationship with stuff? Do you have too much? Too little?
Why do you hang onto what you have?
How much time do you spend deciding what to get rid of?
How might your life be easier with less?
The Chemical Buddha was a bit of a pack rat. He was always holding on to stuff because he thought he might need it someday. Then, he’d have so much shit he couldn’t find what he needed, so he’d go out and buy another one. Which meant he ended up with two or three. Of course, he never had multiple cases of beer or pounds of pot. That stuff was consumed as it was bought. Through this process, The Chemical Buddha realized how much energy it took to sort through, organize, and decide what shit to get rid of. He found that what took seconds to buy took minutes, hours, days, even weeks to get rid of. Luckily, he was always being evicted from his apartment and all of his shit was either thrown out on the street with him or trashed. Making the sorting job someone else’s problem.
What is your relationship with stuff? Do you have too much? Too little?
Why do you hang onto what you have?
How much time do you spend deciding what to get rid of?
How might your life be easier with less?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Got a Complex?
“Life is pretty simple. You live. You die.”
The Chemical Buddha liked to keep things simple. Because making things complex was the easiest thing in the world to do. All you had to do was add on more stuff and wah-lah, complexity. Anyone could do that. But stripping things down to its simplest qualities? That’s the realm of the Buddhas (or people who had sacrificed huge parts of their brains to caustic, hallucination inducing chemicals). That, coupled with the fact that TCB could only understand things if they were explained to him like he was a 3-year-old (which mentally he was) helped him keep everything simple. After TCB heard a philosopher wax poetic for a couple of hours on why we’re here and what happens after death, he cut through the complex bullshit and boiled it down to the above insight. Then, because his head hurt from all of the thinking, he took a nap.
What do you make more complex than it needs to be? What do you get out of making things complex?
How can you make your life more simple? And how might that help you?
The Chemical Buddha liked to keep things simple. Because making things complex was the easiest thing in the world to do. All you had to do was add on more stuff and wah-lah, complexity. Anyone could do that. But stripping things down to its simplest qualities? That’s the realm of the Buddhas (or people who had sacrificed huge parts of their brains to caustic, hallucination inducing chemicals). That, coupled with the fact that TCB could only understand things if they were explained to him like he was a 3-year-old (which mentally he was) helped him keep everything simple. After TCB heard a philosopher wax poetic for a couple of hours on why we’re here and what happens after death, he cut through the complex bullshit and boiled it down to the above insight. Then, because his head hurt from all of the thinking, he took a nap.
What do you make more complex than it needs to be? What do you get out of making things complex?
How can you make your life more simple? And how might that help you?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Oldies
“None before midnight, none after.”
We’re not sure this insight applies anymore. Because with today’s binge drinking, right before closing time seems like the perfect opportunity to pick someone up and take them home. The Chemical Buddha believed if you hadn’t made contact with someone before midnight, your chances of taking them home were pretty slim. That’s why he tried to get it out of the way early. In fact, he pretty much talked to anything with a pussy and a pulse as soon as they walked in the door just so he'd know what his chances were of getting laid. If it worked, it was because she was too drunk and thought he seemed familiar but couldn’t remember how she knew him.
What old ways of thinking do you hold onto?
How might you be better served by thinking of things in a new way?
How might your hanging on to some old ways help you?
We’re not sure this insight applies anymore. Because with today’s binge drinking, right before closing time seems like the perfect opportunity to pick someone up and take them home. The Chemical Buddha believed if you hadn’t made contact with someone before midnight, your chances of taking them home were pretty slim. That’s why he tried to get it out of the way early. In fact, he pretty much talked to anything with a pussy and a pulse as soon as they walked in the door just so he'd know what his chances were of getting laid. If it worked, it was because she was too drunk and thought he seemed familiar but couldn’t remember how she knew him.
What old ways of thinking do you hold onto?
How might you be better served by thinking of things in a new way?
How might your hanging on to some old ways help you?
Friday, May 8, 2009
High Life
“High on more than life.”
The Chemical Buddha loved life. (Mainly because he was pretty sure the dead didn’t orgasm.) But as much as he loved it, he also wanted to take his love to the next level (or higher). So he would use what he called ‘life enhancers.’ TCB thought of life like a plain turkey sandwich. Which was really good but if you slathered some stone ground spicy mustard and some banana peppers, suddenly the sandwich that is life was a lot better. To keep with the sandwich theme, toward the end of his life TCB’s turkey sandwich had stone ground spicy mustard, banana peppers, bacon, smothered in nacho cheese. And the bread was a Krispy Kreme doughnut split in two. In a nutshell, it was unhealthy as fuck, but full of flavor.
How do you spice up your life?
Is your ‘spice’ constructive or destructive to your life and health?
If it’s destructive, what one thing could you do that would be fun and make your life better?
The Chemical Buddha loved life. (Mainly because he was pretty sure the dead didn’t orgasm.) But as much as he loved it, he also wanted to take his love to the next level (or higher). So he would use what he called ‘life enhancers.’ TCB thought of life like a plain turkey sandwich. Which was really good but if you slathered some stone ground spicy mustard and some banana peppers, suddenly the sandwich that is life was a lot better. To keep with the sandwich theme, toward the end of his life TCB’s turkey sandwich had stone ground spicy mustard, banana peppers, bacon, smothered in nacho cheese. And the bread was a Krispy Kreme doughnut split in two. In a nutshell, it was unhealthy as fuck, but full of flavor.
How do you spice up your life?
Is your ‘spice’ constructive or destructive to your life and health?
If it’s destructive, what one thing could you do that would be fun and make your life better?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Driven to Distraction
“People will happily pay to be distracted.”
The Chemical Buddha noticed how people would pay a lot to not have to think about things. The movies, sporting events, self-help books and retreats, and on and on. People would shell out big bucks to to pretend life is better than it is. And none of this includes the billions of dollars people spent using drugs to check out of their lives. TCB couldn’t figure out what people thought was wrong with their life. Why did it bother them so much they didn’t want to think about? For The Chemical Buddha's whole life was a distraction from his distractions which somehow made sense to him. And he would tell you that, if you could have held his attention long enough to ask.
What do you use to distract yourself?
What are you trying to distract yourself from?
What would happen if you didn’t distract yourself and just felt/paid attention to your life?
The Chemical Buddha noticed how people would pay a lot to not have to think about things. The movies, sporting events, self-help books and retreats, and on and on. People would shell out big bucks to to pretend life is better than it is. And none of this includes the billions of dollars people spent using drugs to check out of their lives. TCB couldn’t figure out what people thought was wrong with their life. Why did it bother them so much they didn’t want to think about? For The Chemical Buddha's whole life was a distraction from his distractions which somehow made sense to him. And he would tell you that, if you could have held his attention long enough to ask.
What do you use to distract yourself?
What are you trying to distract yourself from?
What would happen if you didn’t distract yourself and just felt/paid attention to your life?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Put This in Your Bong
“I do not promote enlightenment through Buddhism. I promote enlightenment through Bud-ism.”
Because The Chemical Buddha was a Buddha, people often thought he practiced Buddhism. But nothing could be farther from the truth. TCB focused on the chemical part of his name. While the Buddha’s teaching transformed the unenlightened into the enlightened, The Chemical Buddha preferred to focus on the transformation chemicals could make on one’s life. Mainly because it was a hell of a lot easier than the work of clearing one’s mind of thought with meditation. Anyone who has tried drugs could tell you that any street drug worth a damn would do the same thing. And you could buy drugs in any American town. But there wasn’t a Buddhist temple in every city in America. Not even close. Plus it was a lot easier to get rednecks to smoke pot than it was to meditate. In fact, The Chemical Buddha was surprised the Buddha hadn’t already thought of the whole drug angle. Guess he wasn’t that enlightened after all huh?
Where in your life do you take short cuts/compromise?
How does compromising what you want affect you?
How does not compromising affect you?
Because The Chemical Buddha was a Buddha, people often thought he practiced Buddhism. But nothing could be farther from the truth. TCB focused on the chemical part of his name. While the Buddha’s teaching transformed the unenlightened into the enlightened, The Chemical Buddha preferred to focus on the transformation chemicals could make on one’s life. Mainly because it was a hell of a lot easier than the work of clearing one’s mind of thought with meditation. Anyone who has tried drugs could tell you that any street drug worth a damn would do the same thing. And you could buy drugs in any American town. But there wasn’t a Buddhist temple in every city in America. Not even close. Plus it was a lot easier to get rednecks to smoke pot than it was to meditate. In fact, The Chemical Buddha was surprised the Buddha hadn’t already thought of the whole drug angle. Guess he wasn’t that enlightened after all huh?
Where in your life do you take short cuts/compromise?
How does compromising what you want affect you?
How does not compromising affect you?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Walking, Talking, Breathing Dead
“Most people are just performing daily maintenance on a corpse.”
Compared to The Chemical Buddha, most people seem dead already (or at least that’s what TCB thought) and their lives were just merely filled with doing the upkeep on their still breathing bodies. Rather than actually living, to him they seemed like they were either trying to repeat what their parents had done. Or trying not to repeat what they’re parents had done. Not many people seemed concerned with living their own lives. They were worried about what other thought. But The Chemical Buddha didn’t think they were without hope. Because he figured as long as they’re alive, there was still a chance they’ll live again. Or at least a chance they’d give him money, drugs, food or sex.
Who do you live for?
If you live for yourself, who do you model yourself after? If you model yourself after someone, aren’t you just living for them?
What do you live to do?
Compared to The Chemical Buddha, most people seem dead already (or at least that’s what TCB thought) and their lives were just merely filled with doing the upkeep on their still breathing bodies. Rather than actually living, to him they seemed like they were either trying to repeat what their parents had done. Or trying not to repeat what they’re parents had done. Not many people seemed concerned with living their own lives. They were worried about what other thought. But The Chemical Buddha didn’t think they were without hope. Because he figured as long as they’re alive, there was still a chance they’ll live again. Or at least a chance they’d give him money, drugs, food or sex.
Who do you live for?
If you live for yourself, who do you model yourself after? If you model yourself after someone, aren’t you just living for them?
What do you live to do?
Monday, May 4, 2009
Pusher
“Whoa. Dude.”
This was probably the insight The Chemical Buddha used most. It could mean surprise, awe, appreciation, anger and fear. So while the words remained the same, the meaning depended upon the context and how The Chemical Buddha said them. Of course, we believe they were originally uttered after a particularly deep hit of an 8 foot tall water bong. He then incorporated it into all areas of his life with results he found very satisfying. Although it eventually lost it’s power amongst us. But that didn’t deter TCB. In fact, towards the end of his life it was about all he could say other than, ‘wanna fuck,’ ‘suck it,’ ‘twist one up,’ and ‘you buying?’
Do you express your feelings?
If so, does the way you share them draw people in or push them away?
If it pushes people away, how might you draw people in with how you feel?
This was probably the insight The Chemical Buddha used most. It could mean surprise, awe, appreciation, anger and fear. So while the words remained the same, the meaning depended upon the context and how The Chemical Buddha said them. Of course, we believe they were originally uttered after a particularly deep hit of an 8 foot tall water bong. He then incorporated it into all areas of his life with results he found very satisfying. Although it eventually lost it’s power amongst us. But that didn’t deter TCB. In fact, towards the end of his life it was about all he could say other than, ‘wanna fuck,’ ‘suck it,’ ‘twist one up,’ and ‘you buying?’
Do you express your feelings?
If so, does the way you share them draw people in or push them away?
If it pushes people away, how might you draw people in with how you feel?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Oh Chemical Buddha, I'm Coming!
“What do atheists say when they orgasm?”
Typically, when God fearing people do something that feels really, really good (or get the shit scared out of them) they usually moan, scream or gasp out one word: God. But The Chemical Buddha wondered if atheists non-belief in God applied to those moments too. Did they say God or did they say something else? And if they didn’t say God, could he get them to scream out Chemical Buddha instead? (For some reason, the thought of people in bedrooms everywhere calling out his name appealed to The Chemical Buddha. We can attest that no one ever called out TCB’s name while he was in bed with them. They were most likely to just gasp, ‘Oh God, what have I done?’) Eventually, The Chemical Buddha heard from a friend who, unlike TCB, was actually able to bring an atheist to orgasm, that atheists apparently say ‘yes’, ‘oh yeah’ and even, heaven forbid, ‘God’.
Do you think you’re too different for other people to understand? If so, how does thinking you’re different keep you in your own little world?
What would you have to accept about yourself in order to be understood/accepted by other people?
Typically, when God fearing people do something that feels really, really good (or get the shit scared out of them) they usually moan, scream or gasp out one word: God. But The Chemical Buddha wondered if atheists non-belief in God applied to those moments too. Did they say God or did they say something else? And if they didn’t say God, could he get them to scream out Chemical Buddha instead? (For some reason, the thought of people in bedrooms everywhere calling out his name appealed to The Chemical Buddha. We can attest that no one ever called out TCB’s name while he was in bed with them. They were most likely to just gasp, ‘Oh God, what have I done?’) Eventually, The Chemical Buddha heard from a friend who, unlike TCB, was actually able to bring an atheist to orgasm, that atheists apparently say ‘yes’, ‘oh yeah’ and even, heaven forbid, ‘God’.
Do you think you’re too different for other people to understand? If so, how does thinking you’re different keep you in your own little world?
What would you have to accept about yourself in order to be understood/accepted by other people?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Zen Master Yoda
“What was the point again?”
The Chemical Buddha would sometimes lose track of his stories and they would wonder all over the place. Until he would eventually become aware that he didn’t know what he was talking about and would then ask the question above. On occasion, this would also serve as his answer when people asked him the meaning of life. And, believe it or not, people seemed to get a lot out of his answering their question with a question. (It was a little trick TCB picked up from the little known character of Yoda from the art film The Empire Strikes Back.) Although his ‘question answers’ would leave people scratching their heads, they would always keep thinking about it until they came to a conclusion that satisfied them. TCB thought it was brilliant, we thought it meant people only wanted answers they were ready to hear.
How often do you wander through life looking for ‘the’ answer?
Do you really seek ‘the’ answers or just an answer that justifies what you want to do?
The Chemical Buddha would sometimes lose track of his stories and they would wonder all over the place. Until he would eventually become aware that he didn’t know what he was talking about and would then ask the question above. On occasion, this would also serve as his answer when people asked him the meaning of life. And, believe it or not, people seemed to get a lot out of his answering their question with a question. (It was a little trick TCB picked up from the little known character of Yoda from the art film The Empire Strikes Back.) Although his ‘question answers’ would leave people scratching their heads, they would always keep thinking about it until they came to a conclusion that satisfied them. TCB thought it was brilliant, we thought it meant people only wanted answers they were ready to hear.
How often do you wander through life looking for ‘the’ answer?
Do you really seek ‘the’ answers or just an answer that justifies what you want to do?
Friday, May 1, 2009
Dog Shit
“Dogs at least know not to shit where they eat or sleep. The same can’t be said for people.”
The Chemical Buddha was a fan of all kinds of pets. And one thing he noticed about his dogs was they didn’t care if you stepped, slept or sat in their shit. And while they might step in their own, they sure as hell wouldn’t mess with the two things that were most important to them: Their food and their sleep. TCB also noticed that the people around him would curse every time they stepped in a steaming pile of dog shit. Yet they constantly wandered through their own lives shitting their negative energy and attitude on their coworkers and family. They didn’t even seem to notice when they fucked over those who had the most input on how smooth or rough their lives would be. And then they would wonder why their life was so shitty. It seemed as if people, with all of their knowledge and know-how, still weren’t as smart of ‘dumb’ animals.
What things do you do to the people in your life that you know are wrong? What is the impact?
Do you apologize when you wrong others or just ignore it?
How do you feel when people ‘shit’ on you and don’t say anything?
The Chemical Buddha was a fan of all kinds of pets. And one thing he noticed about his dogs was they didn’t care if you stepped, slept or sat in their shit. And while they might step in their own, they sure as hell wouldn’t mess with the two things that were most important to them: Their food and their sleep. TCB also noticed that the people around him would curse every time they stepped in a steaming pile of dog shit. Yet they constantly wandered through their own lives shitting their negative energy and attitude on their coworkers and family. They didn’t even seem to notice when they fucked over those who had the most input on how smooth or rough their lives would be. And then they would wonder why their life was so shitty. It seemed as if people, with all of their knowledge and know-how, still weren’t as smart of ‘dumb’ animals.
What things do you do to the people in your life that you know are wrong? What is the impact?
Do you apologize when you wrong others or just ignore it?
How do you feel when people ‘shit’ on you and don’t say anything?
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