"The best things in life cause STDs."
There are multiple sex related insights from The Chemical Buddha. (We're going to hazard a guess and say about 99.9% of TCB's waking time was spent thinking about sex, making jokes about sex or trying to get someone to have sex with him.) This one was used whenever a recent sexual partner complained about contracting an STD from TCB. (There's some nice symmetry.) Although they would often reply (sometimes at the top of their lungs) that sex with him wasn't even in the top 1 million of life's best things. But that didn't deter him from believing it was all worth it. In fact, he would readily admit that he was the best he had ever had. But that might have been because he could only clearly remember having sex with himself.
What are you favorite things about life?
How much time do you spend doing them?
How much time do you spend doing things you don't enjoy?
What could you do to enjoy yourself more of the time?
Showing posts with label STDs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label STDs. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Going Viral
"Safe sex, for men, is when their wives are out of town."
The Chemical Buddha was sexually active when the bombshells of HIV and herpes hit the one-night stand scene. And although he was never in a serous relationship, he did take notice of the rampant concern of people bringing some serous STDs home to their partners And while safer sex was to use a condom (which TCB was in favor of because it doubled his stamina from 15 seconds to 30 seconds). His married friends talked about the safest sex being with a condom while their spouse/partner was out of town. Just so you know, The Chemical Buddha was an early adopter of both HIV and herpes and contracted it as soon as he found out about it. To his way of thinking, he no longer needed to worry about catching it later on. Which really freed his mind from all of the needless worry of someone giving it to him.
Where do you play it safe in your life? What's the result?
Where do you take unnecessary risks? What's the result?
Do you learn more from taking risks or playing it safe?
The Chemical Buddha was sexually active when the bombshells of HIV and herpes hit the one-night stand scene. And although he was never in a serous relationship, he did take notice of the rampant concern of people bringing some serous STDs home to their partners And while safer sex was to use a condom (which TCB was in favor of because it doubled his stamina from 15 seconds to 30 seconds). His married friends talked about the safest sex being with a condom while their spouse/partner was out of town. Just so you know, The Chemical Buddha was an early adopter of both HIV and herpes and contracted it as soon as he found out about it. To his way of thinking, he no longer needed to worry about catching it later on. Which really freed his mind from all of the needless worry of someone giving it to him.
Where do you play it safe in your life? What's the result?
Where do you take unnecessary risks? What's the result?
Do you learn more from taking risks or playing it safe?
Monday, January 12, 2009
It's not Jock Itch
“Ex-lovers are like herpes. They pop up at the worst times and ensure you’re not going to get laid.”
While The Chemical Buddha had a lot of STDs he didn’t have a lot of lovers (that he could remember). So if he was on a 'date' with another woman, and was approached by his 'girlfriend' he wasn’t pretending when he acted like he didn’t know/remember he was dating/fucking her too. Of course, not remembering them didn’t help deescalate the problem. In fact, it just made things a lot worse. Until the women realized, it was The Chemical Buddha they were arguing over after all. Then they’d usually laugh their assess off and go to another bar together. Leaving TCB to figure out what the hell was going on and why all this stress had caused an itching sensation in his pants. It took more than one of these encounters to make The Chemical Buddha figure out he should just invite people over to his place or go over to theirs. Which worked perfectly, until he came across two roommates he’d unknowingly fucked.
What bad choices have you made in your life that you find yourself obsessing about?
What mistakes do you need to learn from so you can get on with living your life?
While The Chemical Buddha had a lot of STDs he didn’t have a lot of lovers (that he could remember). So if he was on a 'date' with another woman, and was approached by his 'girlfriend' he wasn’t pretending when he acted like he didn’t know/remember he was dating/fucking her too. Of course, not remembering them didn’t help deescalate the problem. In fact, it just made things a lot worse. Until the women realized, it was The Chemical Buddha they were arguing over after all. Then they’d usually laugh their assess off and go to another bar together. Leaving TCB to figure out what the hell was going on and why all this stress had caused an itching sensation in his pants. It took more than one of these encounters to make The Chemical Buddha figure out he should just invite people over to his place or go over to theirs. Which worked perfectly, until he came across two roommates he’d unknowingly fucked.
What bad choices have you made in your life that you find yourself obsessing about?
What mistakes do you need to learn from so you can get on with living your life?
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