"The best things in life cause STDs."
There are multiple sex related insights from The Chemical Buddha. (We're going to hazard a guess and say about 99.9% of TCB's waking time was spent thinking about sex, making jokes about sex or trying to get someone to have sex with him.) This one was used whenever a recent sexual partner complained about contracting an STD from TCB. (There's some nice symmetry.) Although they would often reply (sometimes at the top of their lungs) that sex with him wasn't even in the top 1 million of life's best things. But that didn't deter him from believing it was all worth it. In fact, he would readily admit that he was the best he had ever had. But that might have been because he could only clearly remember having sex with himself.
What are you favorite things about life?
How much time do you spend doing them?
How much time do you spend doing things you don't enjoy?
What could you do to enjoy yourself more of the time?
About The Elvis of Enlightenment
- The Chemical Buddha
- Not much is known about The Chemical Buddha (as he preferred to be called) other than he was a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome born into a family of hippie hedonists. Throughout his life, The Chemical Buddha sought spiritual enlightenment through excess. To put it quite simply, he saw himself as the Elvis of Enlightenment. While still in his-mid twenties, The Chemical Buddha left this earthly plain for the last time while beer bonging chicken gravy and shooting heroin as he engaged in an orgy that included at least four members of the amphibian family. His last coherent words, before he asphyxiated on vomit that was not entirely his own, was “Nirvana. Choke! Gag! Cough!” Did The Chemical Buddha transcend his earthly bonds through his unorthodox lifestyle? Did he find the key to “Nirvana?” Or was he answering a music trivia question? Here is a collection of the thoughts, sayings, views and bathroom graffiti that has been attributed to The Chemical Buddha. Was he a mystic sent to show us the way or just another drugged out freak that incoherently babbled a few crude views about life? Decide for yourself. This blog of his teaching is maintained by his "monks."
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