"More erections are wasted in a day than are used in a year. Stop the senseless waste of erections!"
The Chemical Buddha discovered that he only used a small percentage of the erections he had in any given day. In fact, he put far fewer erections to work then he would have liked. This was the turning point and the motivation for his new view of his 'littleB uddha'. As a result, he vowed to put more of his erections towards the purpose of pleasure creation. Of course, this meant he got several tickets for masturbating in public and it wasn't unusual to look up from dinner to see him pleasuring himself at the table. It was around this time he became fond of saying, "Happiness is a stiff dick." Up until the time of this death, TCB figured he was getting pleasure from 10% of his daily boners.
What things in your life are you not taking full advantage of?
How might utilizing what is already at hand, help you enjoy your life more?
About The Elvis of Enlightenment
- The Chemical Buddha
- Not much is known about The Chemical Buddha (as he preferred to be called) other than he was a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome born into a family of hippie hedonists. Throughout his life, The Chemical Buddha sought spiritual enlightenment through excess. To put it quite simply, he saw himself as the Elvis of Enlightenment. While still in his-mid twenties, The Chemical Buddha left this earthly plain for the last time while beer bonging chicken gravy and shooting heroin as he engaged in an orgy that included at least four members of the amphibian family. His last coherent words, before he asphyxiated on vomit that was not entirely his own, was “Nirvana. Choke! Gag! Cough!” Did The Chemical Buddha transcend his earthly bonds through his unorthodox lifestyle? Did he find the key to “Nirvana?” Or was he answering a music trivia question? Here is a collection of the thoughts, sayings, views and bathroom graffiti that has been attributed to The Chemical Buddha. Was he a mystic sent to show us the way or just another drugged out freak that incoherently babbled a few crude views about life? Decide for yourself. This blog of his teaching is maintained by his "monks."
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