"I'm the prophet of profit."
Say what you will about The Chemical Buddha, he had a way of putting things that was so blunt and honest that it was almost endearing. Although a little more tact (or at least knowing when to try to be tactful) might have helped him. When someone told him to say he was sorry, he replied, "Fuck no I’m not saying I’m sorry." Or, "Why would I? I did it on purpose." Unfortunately, that was in front of the cops who had been called because he 'accidentally' hit someone in the head with a rock. Luckily, he was a teenager, so he only had to spend a little bit of time at juve'. It was there that he learned how to do some really serious shit.
How often do you tell the truth?
How often do your words hurt people's feelings?
How often do you apologize for something you actually did on purpose?
About The Elvis of Enlightenment
- The Chemical Buddha
- Not much is known about The Chemical Buddha (as he preferred to be called) other than he was a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome born into a family of hippie hedonists. Throughout his life, The Chemical Buddha sought spiritual enlightenment through excess. To put it quite simply, he saw himself as the Elvis of Enlightenment. While still in his-mid twenties, The Chemical Buddha left this earthly plain for the last time while beer bonging chicken gravy and shooting heroin as he engaged in an orgy that included at least four members of the amphibian family. His last coherent words, before he asphyxiated on vomit that was not entirely his own, was “Nirvana. Choke! Gag! Cough!” Did The Chemical Buddha transcend his earthly bonds through his unorthodox lifestyle? Did he find the key to “Nirvana?” Or was he answering a music trivia question? Here is a collection of the thoughts, sayings, views and bathroom graffiti that has been attributed to The Chemical Buddha. Was he a mystic sent to show us the way or just another drugged out freak that incoherently babbled a few crude views about life? Decide for yourself. This blog of his teaching is maintained by his "monks."
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