"The only movement I'm interested in joining is a bowel movement."
One of the bad side effects of certain enlightenment helpers was they tended to slow down the body's systems. Particularly the digestive system. The Chemical Buddha came up with this insight while he was straining on the throne. In fact, he pushed so hard (to no avail) he gave himself hemorrhoids. Every election year since, he toyed with the idea of printing up yard signs, buttons, and bumper stickers that said, "Join the Bowel Movement." But that would have taken money away from his true pursuits. Luckily, you dear reader, can buy one (and a lot of other cool crap) at chemicalbuddha.com. We promise all proceeds will go to supporting The Chemical Buddha's followers in the squalor to which they have become accustomed. (It beats giving them money on a street corner.) Besides, every true religion solicits money from the wannabes.
What are you passionate about?
What happens when you push too hard for something you want?
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