“Lucky for me, you no longer have to die to start a religion.”
When The Chemical Buddha first started his movement, he was worried he might be killed for his radical religious teaching just like Jesus was. (Of course, the Buddha died over and over just to see what it was like.) The reasons TCB didn’t want to die was because he didn’t want to miss out on all of the sexual favors and being worshiped by his followers. He imagined Jesus must be pretty pissed to look down from Heaven and see all the riches the religion started in his name had amassed. Not to mention all the women that were ‘married to Christ.’ He could fuck and fuck without committing sin. Of course, if Jesus rose from the dead, doesn’t that mean he was a zombie? If he hadn’t ascended into heaven and had lived among us instead, being a zombie Jesus might cut into his action a little bit.
What ideas are you willing to die for?
What would you like to start before you die?
About The Elvis of Enlightenment
- The Chemical Buddha
- Not much is known about The Chemical Buddha (as he preferred to be called) other than he was a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome born into a family of hippie hedonists. Throughout his life, The Chemical Buddha sought spiritual enlightenment through excess. To put it quite simply, he saw himself as the Elvis of Enlightenment. While still in his-mid twenties, The Chemical Buddha left this earthly plain for the last time while beer bonging chicken gravy and shooting heroin as he engaged in an orgy that included at least four members of the amphibian family. His last coherent words, before he asphyxiated on vomit that was not entirely his own, was “Nirvana. Choke! Gag! Cough!” Did The Chemical Buddha transcend his earthly bonds through his unorthodox lifestyle? Did he find the key to “Nirvana?” Or was he answering a music trivia question? Here is a collection of the thoughts, sayings, views and bathroom graffiti that has been attributed to The Chemical Buddha. Was he a mystic sent to show us the way or just another drugged out freak that incoherently babbled a few crude views about life? Decide for yourself. This blog of his teaching is maintained by his "monks."
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