“Don't complain about your life, because if you wanted to be someplace else, you would be.”
The Chemical Buddha didn’t have a lot of room for people who wanted to do something else but didn’t do it. He thought it was OK to dream, but take some movement towards your dream for Christ’s sake! He was also OK with venting/complaining but if you were going to consult him for the same issue multiple times, you might find him trying to take a shit on the top of your head. He always claimed it was to demonstrate how they’d move if someone was going to shit on them, so why won’t they take action when their life is shitty? And some people actually sat there while he emptied his bowels on them because it was a fitting metaphor for their lives.
Where are you now?
Where do you want to be?
If the two are different, what steps are you taking to get there?
About The Elvis of Enlightenment
- The Chemical Buddha
- Not much is known about The Chemical Buddha (as he preferred to be called) other than he was a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome born into a family of hippie hedonists. Throughout his life, The Chemical Buddha sought spiritual enlightenment through excess. To put it quite simply, he saw himself as the Elvis of Enlightenment. While still in his-mid twenties, The Chemical Buddha left this earthly plain for the last time while beer bonging chicken gravy and shooting heroin as he engaged in an orgy that included at least four members of the amphibian family. His last coherent words, before he asphyxiated on vomit that was not entirely his own, was “Nirvana. Choke! Gag! Cough!” Did The Chemical Buddha transcend his earthly bonds through his unorthodox lifestyle? Did he find the key to “Nirvana?” Or was he answering a music trivia question? Here is a collection of the thoughts, sayings, views and bathroom graffiti that has been attributed to The Chemical Buddha. Was he a mystic sent to show us the way or just another drugged out freak that incoherently babbled a few crude views about life? Decide for yourself. This blog of his teaching is maintained by his "monks."
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