"You need to release all attachments to consciousness and become truly unconscious."
As the only lineage holder of the Enlightenment Through Pharmaceuticals school of Buddhism, The Chemical Buddha taught his students that to feel one with the all, they had to release their attachment to consciousness and become unconscious. To achieve this goal, he recommended three paths to total unconsciousness: beer, spirits and wine. There were other ways to reach the desired level, but they weren't as easily controlled and deemed too dangerous for novices. Only after reaching the level of Master, did he allow his students to try heroin and plastic bags. So unless you're under the care of an accredited Enlightenment Through Pharmaceuticals Master (look for their framed certificate prominently displayed on the wall of their cardboard box) do not attempt.
What are you attached to?
How do your attachments keep you from advancing in your life?
About The Elvis of Enlightenment
- The Chemical Buddha
- Not much is known about The Chemical Buddha (as he preferred to be called) other than he was a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome born into a family of hippie hedonists. Throughout his life, The Chemical Buddha sought spiritual enlightenment through excess. To put it quite simply, he saw himself as the Elvis of Enlightenment. While still in his-mid twenties, The Chemical Buddha left this earthly plain for the last time while beer bonging chicken gravy and shooting heroin as he engaged in an orgy that included at least four members of the amphibian family. His last coherent words, before he asphyxiated on vomit that was not entirely his own, was “Nirvana. Choke! Gag! Cough!” Did The Chemical Buddha transcend his earthly bonds through his unorthodox lifestyle? Did he find the key to “Nirvana?” Or was he answering a music trivia question? Here is a collection of the thoughts, sayings, views and bathroom graffiti that has been attributed to The Chemical Buddha. Was he a mystic sent to show us the way or just another drugged out freak that incoherently babbled a few crude views about life? Decide for yourself. This blog of his teaching is maintained by his "monks."
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