Eat Your Vegetables

"Plants are lucky. They can eat, sleep and reproduce all at the same time."
The Chemical Buddha was always jealous of plants because they got to do all the stuff he wanted to do. (And in public no less.) Although The Chemical Buddha had fallen asleep during sex, eaten in his sleep and eaten during sex. The closest he ever came to being plant-like was fucking and eating while being half asleep. So when he heard people were in a vegetative state, he was happy for them. But that was before he realized that while they were eating (through a tube) and sleeping (AKA in a coma) they couldn't enjoy sex or even feel it. So he was much less excited about trying to achieve his own vegetative state. He instead focused his vegetable envy on the length and girth of grocery store cucumbers.
Who are you jealous of and why?
Is it possible that what you have right now is what's best for you?